Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hey You Kids, Gerroff Mah Lawn!

In our neighborhood, we have a little problem.  I have illustrated it for you above, with my mad mspaint skills.  Don't worry, I'm sure The Hubs will explain the spacial issues with my illustration, but you get the idea.

Here is the key, which also explains the problem:

My house is the bit in the right hand corner.  The small green square is where we keep our trash can (on the back deck), and the small blue square is where we keep our recycling bin (on the front porch.)

The green bits are yards.

The red rectangles are cars-ish.  That's just mostly to show you how crazy our parking lot is.

The black bits are the road, and the grey bits are the sidewalks.

We do not have a dumpster in our neighborhood, and the subdivision is all townhomes, not all of which have direct access to the street.  And the waste management company requires all of the trash be grouped in easily-accessed areas. The dark purple circle is where people SHOULD put their trash.

The light purple circle and everything in it is a demonstration of where people actually put their trash.

The black dotted lines are the bugs that make their way into our house thanks to our neighbors.

The brown spots in the yard are the bits of the yard that are dead and/or filled with fungus thanks to our neighbors garbage disposal methods.  Fungus doesn't mean cute little toadstools, no.  It means GIANT mushroomy-nastiness that looks like a mad-cow-diseased-bovine brain.  Its digs deep into the soil, and EATS is, so you have giant holes in your yard when you dig it up.  Also, I think it might be sentient.

On the plus side, it scares the neighbor kids.

We have been begging our neighbors to stop putting trash in our yard.  It attracts rats, maggots, ants, and other pests.  As our house is the nearest structure, they end up making their way from the trash bins/bags/piles and into our home.  The ant problem is the worst, because they get absolutely everywhere.  The cats, fortunately, appear to have protected us from the rat infestation. 

Oh yeah, thanks to the poor disposal habits of our neighbors, our neigborhood has a rat infestation.  Templeton isn't cute when he isn't helping Wilbur.  Yay cats, you ARE useful for something!

And lest you wonder, yes, we DID find maggots in strange places this summer.

Like our bedroom.  *shudder*

(Someday, when I've been to therapy and learned to cope with the memories, I will tell you about helping our friend and former roomate clean out her truck bed.  So...many.... maggots...  When I say "the sidewalk was crawling", it is not an exageration...)

This would be easily solved if people would bag and can their trash properly, and not put it in our yard.  And remove their cans/bins within, you know, a day.

I mean, I know I grew up in Kentucky, but I do not consider trash cans to be appropriate lawn ornaments.

 But The Hubs has come up with an ingenious device for providing "discipline" to THESE recalcitrant neighbors.  They have one day to come get their empty bin, and then he walks it across the street to "The Barn" (an actual historic barn) which is the headquarters for our local HOA, and leaves it there.  Since he started doing that, its been amazing to see the people who remember to get their nasty garbage cans.

We're pretty sure some of them are on the HOA.

1 comment:

  1. ROFL Well done Hubs! LOL I bet you're right, some of them are on the HOA. The ones who aren't have been disgusted at the problem delivered by trash in the wrong spot and not being removed in a timely fashion.

    And UGH! MAGGOTS! I have a maggot story too, which I'm incorporating into my NaNoWriMo story this year. *shudders* Please give plenty of warning when you post it, I do NOT want to read that particular post. I'm sorry...