Sunday, December 14, 2008

Two Down, Two To Go

So, I did my Intellectual Property final, and my Bankruptcy Final, on Thursday. And I survived. Mostly wasted Friday and Saturday... well, half of Saturday. But I feel justified - I hadn't left the house but thrice since the prior Thursday! I'm almost done with my Legal Accounting Outline. I finished an outline for both of my other two classes.

I have never finished more than two outlines in a semester. I don't know what's come over me.

When I was in the library taking my bankruptcy final, there were people in the middle of the school DRILLING. There was no where in the building you could go to escape them... I checked. It was awful. I was sitting in a little carrel upstairs in the library, where it is supposed to be deadly silent. Supposed to be.

There was a 1L "studying" behind me. And by studying, I mean she was eating loud food and... answering her phone. Which rang three times, at least. The conversations lasted two to five minutes, and were loudly hissed whispers. "No, I'm in the library. Yeah. No, at the law school. Upstairs. Look, I'm in the library, I can't talk. I'll call you back. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'll call you. We can hang out later." I was on the verge of violence, but I didn't have time for her. And her loud food of choice? Chips. I couldn't see her, but I can tell you what she was eating. What does that tell YOU?

Anyway.

I have a final on Tuesday, and one on Wednesday, and then I'm DONE!!! I wish it was Tuesday tomorrow. I don't even care about my grades at this point, I just want this semester to be over.

Friday, December 05, 2008

I Miss Having Health Insurance

I have been having something that seems to be an anxiety attack since 6:00 p.m. last night. Erratic heart rate (goes from normal to racing, with a little bit of everything in between), I occasionally find myself short of breath.... I don't know what to do, though. I mean, I'm stressed, obviously, but I'm not panicking or anything. I'm calm, and I thought I was dealing with finals/bar/job situation all right. This is really frustrating.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I Wonder If I Will Ever Learn...

...from the lessons of the past. I was just looking back at my last pre-finals post of the spring semester, and it reminded me.

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ


No matter what happens with my future, I will always have my faith in Christ to cling to. He is the rock that doesn't crumble, He never falters and He never fails. No one and nothing in life can take me away from Him.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Estudiar

Its that time of year again. The time in the fall when I realize finals are mere weeks away, I've barely studied, and have no idea what is going on in at least one of my classes. (Intellectual Property, for anyone who wonders.) On top of this is looking for a post-school job, and planning for the bar. Yeesh!

But then there is William. Sublime happiness. I find myself smiling and daydreaming at the oddest moments, and I'm sure I look quite the fool. Even when I'm feeling most down (and you know it happens a lot this time of year!), one word from him, and I'm smiling again. This kind of happy is a miracle - I never thought I could be so insanely crazy about someone. A month or so 'til he meets the fam, then we'll see how awesome he still thinks I am!!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Have I Mentioned Lately?

That I really hate law school? I am so tired. I suppose it doesn't help that I miss my boyfriend to distraction, and my muscles are insanely sore from their recent return to the gym after a four month absence, AND I work entirely too late some nights.

Okay, that's all the ranting I care to do. I just can't spare the energy.

Stupid Law School.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Vacation

So, I recently changed my facebook status to "Dorothy hates being exhausted all the time." The following is the conversation I had with my father via comments:

Dad
You need to schedule a vacation day. Get away from everything. You can do it. Just plan it. (Stay away from the video games, they don't help) Love you. You're going to make it through this because you are the best.

Recalcitrant Daughter
I was considering a trip to Maryland around the 18th... ;)

Dad
What would be refreshing about that. Oh, a nice family visit! ;-)

Recalcitrant Daughter
Right! Family... visit... of relaxation... Is it just me, or does that sound... less than relaxing?

Dad
Family is always the most relaxing people to be around. Always just except you the way you are and love you unconditionally. You know that!

Recalcitrant Daughter
They might accept and love me - but that doesn't mean they relax me. And you know that! lol...

Dad
So what pray tell would you go to Maryland for?

Recalcitrant Daughter
A hockey game...

Dad
That was my next guess.

Recalcitrant Daughter
Really! Whatever the DC team is called vs New Jersey Devils...

Dad
Capitols I think.

Recalcitrant Daughter
That's it... :) But yes, the plan was actually to see a hockey game if I come. Its coincidence, of course, that I'd be going with Will and possibly some of his friends.
---

My dad is hilarious and awesome. I think I am going on vacation.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

All Journally And Stuff

I've been such a girl recently! Doodling on my paper, hearts and swirls and other things. Its pretty hilarious how cliche I am. I am constantly amazed by the sudden normalcy of my life - no extra drama, everything balanced. I wonder how long it can last - but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I never could have imagined being so content in a relationship - its not like everything is always perfect, I'm sure Will could tell you all how much I drive him crazy sometimes. (He says "Its not you, its the things you do." Imagine the snicker on my face.) But it just feels so healthy and normal - which is all I ever really wanted. It just makes me so happy! Okay, so, I'm sure any of you who still bother to read this are tired of my happy girl in love posts. I'll try and tone it down.

I've been pretty sick this last week - I'm not sure if its a cold, sinus infection, or what, but I am quite certain it has its origins in my allergies problems that struck as soon as I crossed back into the fair bluegrass state. I have never had an allergy problem before, but there are a lot of people like me who have suddenly dscovered how awful they are here in Kentucky. Its weird. I just have a cough and a bit of congestion in my chest now, and I don't have a sinus-induced migraine, so I think it is (tentatively) safe to say I am on the mend.

I generally like my classes, even though I don't really understand half as much as I read. I see words having to do with money and numbers, and my brain starts throwing up. Its very distracting. Nevertheless, I've been doing my best, and if I really buckle down and study, I think I will do okay. I hope. Litigation Skills is going to be very interesting, I think.

Hey, this is the last day of my second week of school, and I've only missed two classes total so far this semester - and both due somewhat to being sick. (Ok, I was actually just refusing to get out of bed this morning... but I blame it on feeling crappy!)

My "little" brother C-Dog [names changed to protect the "innocent"] got married on Monday. The wedding was lovely, there was minimal drama (shocking, I know, to those of you who know the situation. Which is... probably no one.) I had to wear tape because the b/m dress was a bit too big - and it still didn't help a whole lot. My hair looked amazing, though.

I got it cut (short!) on Thursday. The color from before had faded (I had it dyed back to my natural color, but because that was darker, the dye faded back to a lighter shade, leaving me still with roots showing.) Now, I'm not really that photogenic, so even though the color looked okay in person, in pictures it was AWFUL. So I grabbed a semi-pemanent dye off the shelf on Sunday, thinking that would be okay. It was supposed to be, at its very darkest, about my natural color (a mid-to-light brown). Can I just tell you that my hair is so dark, it almost looks black? Only the red in it shows that it is actually a very dark brown - with my ghost-like complexion, I would NEVER have picked it for myself. But it looks really good! Well, I think so anyway.

I like the color and cut a lot - as soon as Will sees it, I'm sure I'll be able to convince him that short dark hair is just as nice as long red hair. Maybe.

I'm still trying to figure out how in the heck to get transferred to Starbucks in Lexington. Matt is an eejit, who wouldn't make the ONE phone call needed to let it go through. I don't really know why. Anyway, I have to figure it out myself. Ugh. At least I really like working for the company - I know, I'm a dork. But it is such a fun job!!

All right, enough of my and my randomness. Have a wonderful weekend!!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Livin' La Vida Crazy

I am taking fifteen hours this semester. Not so bad, right? Until I tell you that most of it is related to corporate law! Yes, that's right, after two years of avoiding these classes like the plague, I have been sucked in. Employee Benefits Law, Legal Accounting, Bankruptcy... they all quote the IRC (Internal Revenue Code). Please see my posts from last year about how much I hate tax. I am also taking Intellectual Property (snooze) and Litigation Skills (YAY). Its ironic and funny - and I'm not really miserable.

I smile all the time now. If you don't know why... see my last post!

My brother is getting married on Monday. I am a bridesmaid.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sweet Sadness

I miss you. I know I say it all the time, generally preceded by "I love you". The phrase is a sweet pain. You have brought so much joy into my life. I never knew I could feel like this. When I think about you, I smile through my tears. I am so blessed to have you to miss.

It helps, I know, that I will see you soon. But today of all days, you aren't far from my mind, and I can't keep these words inside. I only wish these words could be a better gift, that they really said everything I mean for them to say.

I wish you could feel my heart.

Happy birthday, Querido.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

For Some Strange Reason

This state blocks facebook from its computers, but not livejournal. I miss my facebook.

I MISS MY COMPUTER!

I spent yesterday morning here at my internship, then the whole afternoon swimming in the bay with Will. Then I came back, went to care group at my aunt's house (where I was accosted by nacho-cheese mouthed children), and then went back to my grandfather's house and did laundry.

At one point in there, I found out that my dear friend (from fifth grade, no less) Jamie gave my name to the recruiting team where she works (a research corporation). This would be the most amazingly awesome opportunity EVAH! They have offices in Charlotte Virginia and DC.

DC. Refer to my posts after January 2005 if you have forgotten how much I love that city. So much.

It might come to nothing, but even the possibility has opened windows into my horizons. I am so much excited, you have no idea. God's provision and blessing is astounding to me - I know I don't deserve it, and I can't help but fall on my face in awe.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Hooookay

Way too much has happened since my last post. I've been in Maryland for about a month now. (I believe it was a month yesterday.) I have four things I didn't have before I came here:

A job (as a Starbucks Barista - Certified!)
An internship (well, I had it already, I guess, but I hadn't started it yet)
A neice-or-nephew
A boyfriend

I know, that last one made me blink, too. How did that happen? I'm not really entirely sure, to be honest. Will and I have been friends for something like thirteen years. We just started hanging out (he lives about an hour and a half from Easton), and we clicked.

Which is kind of weird. After thirteen years.

I'm not complaining, mind you! (Mostly because I just realized he added me on livejournal... ;) )

And my sister Sarah is pregnant. Phew. Life is so crazy-full

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Super Summer!

Okay, so, I am in Maryland. Generally speaking, except for a minute or two here and there, I am without internet. I had to pay $100 for someone else to backup my harddrive before it got replaced, because for whatever reason, I couldn't do it myself. I tried. Repeatedly. But my computer is still under warranty, and the hard drive IS crapping out, so there you go.

If there are any software issues, I have to fix them myself. Whatever, I can reformat my hard drive, as long as it is properly backed up. Ugh. Money issues are scaring me - a lot. I'm still waiting on that job to materialize, you know, the one at Starbucks that pays. Stupid economy.

I really like my internship, though, for all that I don't get paid. I am shadowing "D," a public defender here. I really like her, and despite her protestations to the contrary, she is a good attorney. I think she needs affirmation. I really like this office, actually, and I don't think I would mind actually working here myself.

You know, attorneys for the government don't make much money. So, if I want to do public interest law, I better prepare to be poor! Although... states usually offer some loan repayment assitance to government employees in public service - and pretty much all attorneys working for the state governments are public interest. Prosecuters and appointed defense counsel. Yeah, we'll see.

I'll be around insofar as I can. I miss you, computer friends!

(I hear I'm not the only one with hard drive problems. To my friends out there (I understand there is more than one!), you have my sincerest sympathies. I understand your pain. Computers are both the blessing and bane of my life. I'm starting to feel bi-polar with the extremely good and extremely bad hitting me in rapid succession.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Other Time He Calms His Child

All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken
We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down
On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place

-Scott Kripayne
---

Phew. Sometimes I need that reminder....

Monday, April 14, 2008

1 week and 1 day til "Hell Week"

Do me a favor, my friends.

Over the next week, at some point, please randomly say this to me:

"You are not going to fail your finals. You'll get a D just for writing your name, and a C- if you can highlight all the issues."

That's all.

p.s. Yes, hell for me would be me being taking law school finals for which I was not prepared for eternity.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Teh Caly

How does God see me? Not like man sees me...

I've lost a lot of friends over the last couple of years, I don't really know how. I begin to think its an inevitable loss - no matter how old the friendship - and then I remember. The way people come to see me isn't how God sees me. No matter what I do, I can't drive Him away.

And some friends really are as sticky and fun as glue, especially when you make "glue hands."


Caly, you are an amazing, wonderful friend - and everyone who knows you agrees. Everyone loves "Teh Caly" - Its the only reason I trust that the you I know is the real thing - I don't trust my own judgment anymore. I'm so blessed to know you. I can trust you with anything, and know you'll never throw it back in my face. In five years, we've never disagreed on anything... just had different perspectives. If you've ever been annoyed with me, I didn't know. You've restored my faith in humanity more than once. You make time for me, even when life is beating you up, and that is more than any person could ask for. You listen to my rants, and pretend (in the most believable way possible) to agree with my elaborate plans for revenge. I've never once questioned your loyalty, your faithfulness, your kindness, or your general love of everyone. Your big heart and big smile are as genuine as they come. You cuss like a sailor, and apologize in the same breath, and unrepentantly carry on with your cursing. You listen to all my wacky ideas, and even laugh at most of them. Like me, you get scared if we talk about being scared of the dark. You color-code candy. You agree with all of my ridiculous insults. You pretend its completely normal to act like a five year old. You stay up far too late on the phone. You appreciate my voice-mail messages, especially the ones where I sing. You sing with me when I have a song stuck in my head, even if the five second delay makes it sound hilarious. You don't get offended when I insult your cats. In fact, you just don't ever get offended by me. You trust me to be there for you, which is scary, but amazing. You bear with my incessant need to explain the obvious, even when I'm wrong. You not only listen to my insanely long stories, but you encourage me to go off on random tangents, and sometimes I don't finish the story for a couple of days. You bear with my repeated attempts to coerce you into giving me a god-child. You promised I could have one! (Crazy girl). You like popcorn made on the stove. You sing along to the Backyardigans, no matter how much I tell you they terrify me. You yell "YetiYetiYeti!" in the middle of my voicemail about Yeti's... and then call to tell me you did it, when I knew you would. You talk in funny accents. You jump waves with the joy of a five year old. You make fun of your husband, but respect him anyway. You are raising a special-needs child with grace, finesse, and aplomb - and doing a darn fine job of it. You sacrifice yourself for your family, your friends, and everyone else. You have an artist's eye. You are tall and beautiful, like an amazon (but with both boobs still attached). You are living proof that "real women have curves" and look amazing doing it. You support breast cancer research, autism awareness, and a greener way of life. You're a republican (sort of). You like pretty much every kind of music. You dance like no one is watching. You collect cats, and love them all - even the icky boy cats. Even the ones who shun you, and pee on your blankets.

There is so much more I could say.. but let me close with this: Please don't stop being my friend.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

If You Haven't...

...seen the short film "The Danish Poet," let me take this moment to highly, HIGHLY recommend it. I love it.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Why Yes, I AM Hyperventilating...

So, I have three law school finals in a row. During the first week of finals. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

Someone, please put me out of my misery NOW. I won't have nearly as much study time as I need!

(For those not "in the know," law school finals stretch out over two full weeks FOR A REASON. They are 3-4 hour written (i.e. essay) examinations, and this semester THEY ARE ALL CLOSED BOOK.)

I also have a take home examination, though I'm less worried about that one.

I also have a memo to write for the judge which requires research.

And a paper.

And 40-some-odd hours left in my internship.

Not to mention being sick enough to spend all yesterday throwing up, and today with a left-over migraine. I might be just a little stressed out. O.O

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Paying Less Attention Than I Should

Its supposed to start ice-storming any minute now. I called in to my internship, because I need to go get Lexis-Nexis Certified - and I didn't realize today was the last day to do it. I'm really glad I did, though, because that means I won't have to drive home from downtown in rush hour traffic in the middle of an ice storm.

At least I remembered my umbrella.

I'm so busy, you guys. And I'm having one of those weeks where people decide to tell you what they really think about you: here are a few of the words:

Bitter
Cocky
Mean
Arrogant
Overly-sensitive to what other people think of me outside my 'area of expertise' (yes, I know that is more than one word)

These are not words I would have used to describe myself. (Well, bitter sometimes, but I'm really not.) It seems like, every time I start to develop some confidence, lose a bit of my self-consciousness, I hear about more reasons why that is a bad thing. At least when I am constantly critical of myself, I don't give other people a chance to do so.

That whole "you shouldn't care about what people think about you" thing is ridiculous. We SHOULD care what people think about us! If people think you are ______ (fill in the blank negative word), it will make you less effective. A good reputation, pleasant demeanor, etc... are important for success. The people who say I shouldn't care are the people that aren't (blank negative word), and haven't had to WORRY about their reputation.

I know those words don't describe me - my worry is how people see me. If they see me as that kind of person, I am clearly not reflecting the love of Jesus Christ - and that scares me. Because I want to be defined by my faith, not to have my faith defined by me. How can you help people when they think you are mean? Bitter? Cocky? etc..?

So, yes, I care. Now I just have to figure out what that means I have to do about it.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Its Not That I Wanted The Giants To Win...

I just wanted the Patriots to lose. Personally, I think Eli Manning is obnoxious. And even though my grandmother thinks Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers is "scary," I like them. Him? It? Yeah.

BUT the Pats lost - Boston does NOT rule the professional sporting world.

Now, if we could only remind the SEC (ignoring Florida) that we are SUPPOSED to rule the world - or at least, NCAA basketball - I'd be on top of the world.

Oh, yeah, and UK SO won their first road game yesterday. Finally. In February. Whatever. Billy G, I'm glad you are finally getting a clue. Because I loved Tubby, and you are an alchy. (alchie? sp?) My dog is named Tubby, Billy G, so you have some big, good hearted shoes to fill.

Am I done sports-ranting now? I think so.

O-U-T

Friday, January 18, 2008

Most Insane Week Ever

To be fair, its largely my own fault. So, craziest week ever:

Monday, missed Admin because I couldn't find a place to park. Bought shoes instead of going to class. Didn't get to work out that night.

Tuesday, missed Family Law because I was blocked in when I tried to leave my house. BOO. Also didn't get to work out that night.

Wednesday, late to Admin. No excuses. Went to Law and Religion. Bought two used books (Buccaneers by Edith Wharton, the Inheritance by Louisa May Alcott), got lunch. Went to a Women's Law Caucus officer's meeting. Went to work. Dropped a book off at the library. When to the mall on a WLC errand (assigned at said meeting). Found what I needed, but couldn't get the go ahead (via phone) to buy, so took a walk around the mall to wait for the return call. (It never came). Had to hide from scary asian masseurs - choices were Gymboree and Victoria Secret - Semi-Annual Sale! Spent $90, got a TON of stuff. Talked to Jeni. Went home. Went to the Y. Ran 1.25 miles, did my stupid free weight crap (ugh), 200 crunches, admired cute guys. Got home, ate dinner. Went to bed... SO TIRED. That whole day was long.

Thursday, did a ton, the only important things were starting my internship in with a family court judge, got to talk to a cute guy that I haven't seen in awhile, and got a second degree burn on my hip. All three are actually somewhat related. So that was Thursday. (There was a ton more... but yeah.)

I also listened to Jeni telling someone named Alissa my Wednesday story while I was telling it to Rosie. *snicker*

Now its Friday, I'm sitting in my last class until Tuesday (11 more minutes!). Someone in this room has VERY STINKY FEET. In my continuing effort to exclude caffeine from my life, I am drinking Root Beer.