Wednesday, December 29, 2004


I have tried, unsuccessfully, to audio post in the last month, but, obviously, it didn't work. Anyway, what is up with me? For starters, I spent three days trapped between Mount Vernon, Illinois and Evansville, Indiana, when I-64 was closed due to the wretched snowstorm and hundreds of people trapped in snowdrifts on the interstate. I left my favorite pillow in a skanky hotel room, and I am so sick of driving that... well, I have no way to complete that sentence, suffice to say that I am tired of it. I was so upset, and frustrated, and scared, I had dreams of dying without ever getting to see the people that I love. After my interesting.... adventures.. over Thanksgiving, you would think I would have learned!


Christmas was wonderful, and I have really been enjoying the time I have spent with my family. Christmas presents are wonderful, but family is better. *nods* I miss Nathan with an almost physical ache *sighs* but I knew these things would have to be endured when I chose to start a long distance relationship. Speaking of which!

Our one year anniversary was December ninth! *grins* We weren't together, but we spent the entire week before that together, so it was endurable. I had to cater that night, so I guess money is a good thing, too.

Finals. They sucked. I had three within 24 hours of each other... and they were long ones with many paged study-guides, too. I go TWO YEARS without a class with a comprehensive final, and then this semester four out of five are! I got an A in Civil War history (booyah, mister murphy!), a difficult and yet enjoyable task. I got a B in everything else, which sucks and lowered my GPA SO MUCH. BUT at least I didn't do any worse than a B! I think I am finally getting back on track after all my... issues... that damaged things.

I helped Tara move down to Springfield, which seems to have possible been the biggest mistake of my life. Not because of her, because I think she is finally getting settled and satisfied with her life, and that makes me happy... but after all the crap her family gave her, they are finally supporting her... and I guess I feel a little pushed out. They think I am taking advantage of her, which sucks because I always thought we both helped each other out when we needed it, and that I had made enough sacrifices for her that I didn't deserve that... but apparently that isn't true. I can't ever give enough, I suppose, to deserve friendship and normal relationships. But there is definetly strain now, I don't think she even likes to talk to me on the phone, or knows what to say to me. The hardest thing is, I know that she is SO GLAD that her family is on her side, and I should be dancing and rejoicing that they are! She really does deserve that after all the things they have said to and about her. I just didn't realize that it would come at the expense of one of the closest relationships I've ever had with someone outside of my family. Going back to school and seeing people is the one thing I least want to do, because now Tara is back, but I will still be missing her. *sighs* I guess you can tell what has been on my mind so much lately. Moving on...

I've been watching my brothers play video games like their lives depended on it. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers for X-Box and Spyro the Dragon for the Playstation (yeah, its old, my brother got if off of e-bay). My mom plays neopets, when my dad isn't drafting 280-500 page reports, or specs, or something, for his work. I've cleaned the kitchen a couple of times (and made the lil'uns help), chauferred my little brother, done some shopping, made dinner (Spagetti Sauce from scratch!! *dances* My dad did the major seasoning, though, cause I wasn't sure what to do.), cut Josiah's hair (muhahahaha), made apple-cherry pie (I thought they were cans of the same thing, but they weren't *laughs*), given my hair a deep-conditioning treatment, done some lifting (weights)(that Charles got for Christmas), played Legend of Ze;da (Oracle of Seasons:Gameboy color), Spyro, and LOTR a little, read a couple of books all the way through (The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, More than Honor by David Weber, The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien), and made a general nuisance of myself around the house. I'm getting a little bored (I don't even bother getting dressed till the afternoon) and I don't get to talk to Nathan nearly as much as I could wish, BUT I am enjoying being away from Springfield. My dad is going to make Corned Beef and Cabbage for New Years! *grins* I'm never here for St. Patrick's Day, so this is the only time I get to eat it all year, and it makes me so so so so happy! We had an "Italian Feast" for Christmas dinner, and I made Cannolis, but Nothing beats New Years. Except Thanksgiving. But everyone knows that.

So. I am going to get off here now, but feel free to drop me an e-mail anytime! Much love always!

Be good, Watch T.V.

1 comment:

  1. I love you! I miss you!
    Let me say that again!!
    I love you! I miss you!
    Once more!
    I love you! I miss you!
    With feeling anyone?!?
    I love you!
    Everytime I gaze into your eyes, I see a new depth to the world. They are so lovely and so captivating that I must do it again..