Tuesday, August 31, 2004

A little bit of homework

So, for my New Testament class, I had to compose a letter to my teacher about my life, the universe, and everything... *snickers* Anyway, it had to answer certain questions, and as some of you may know, I do love to write a good letter. This information isn't exactly all commonly known, so I thought I would post it here for your valiant approval. I don't know what that meant, exactly, but its 12:30 AM, for heaven's sake! Blah. Here it is!

Dear Mr. Turnage,
My name is [insert pseudonym here]. I’m twenty-one years old, and I come most recently from Lexington, Kentucky. You should be warned, letter writing is a hobby of mine, and I have been known to send twenty-page letters before. Lucky you! My name means “Gift of God” “light a lamp” “in the sheep meadow.” Now, my mom didn’t know the meaning of my name when I was born, but I like to think that it means God has had a destiny for me since before I was born. I do know that He guided my steps to Evangel University, and I trust that He has a plan for me when I leave here.
To be honest, I nearly didn’t come to Evangel. I “graduated” from home school when I was seventeen, and knew that I wasn’t ready to go all the way to Missouri. It was my goal even then, had been in my heart since I was fourteen, but it wasn’t time yet. I took a semester off from school to work, and started college in the spring semester at the University of Kentucky. In the next two years, I joined the Christian Student Fellowship and UK, and became involved in the student leadership there. In a bit of irony, it was at this time that my relationship with God began to drift, and I began a number of unhealthy relationships… more “liberal” Christians… most particularly, that with my best friend Michael. I allowed myself to be emotionally abused, and couldn’t ever say “no” to anyone who asked a favor of me. I never crossed moral lines of the most obvious sins, drinking, sexual immorality, but there was definitely sin separating me from God.
I didn’t want to come to Evangel after becoming so attached to my new life. I had so many friends, and I despaired of leaving them. But after receiving my associate’s degree, I decided that I didn’t want to pursue an education at UK, and transferred to Evangel. I struggled at first, for almost a year, with adjusting to life in Missouri. Raised mostly in the south, the Midwestern culture shocked my senses. The people were different, and for the first time in my life, I was well and truly away from my family. That particular period of my life was the most difficult I have ever struggled with, but by the Grace of God, I was able to let go of all the baggage I had accumulated over the last two years. It took time, but I finally realized that this was where God meant for me to be.
I am by nature an unselfish person, which occasionally gets me into trouble. Coupled with a low self-esteem, I have also had to struggle with depression. This is probably my greatest weakness. When I fall into a bout of depression, I get discouraged and frightened. I actually am afraid to write when I get like this… I don’t know why, but just sitting down and putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) terrifies me. During these times, I manage to accomplish very little.
On the other hand, this weakness has also lead to my greatest strength. First because I have to lean on God, and this has strengthened my faith in Him and in myself. Second because I have learned to overcome the worst of my depression, and refuse to allow myself to become trapped in fear and doubt. I think that God has used the entire situation to challenge me, and force me to grow.
My life goals are… somewhat vague. I know that God is leading me, but I’m not sure where! I am a History major, with a minor in Spanish (which, by the way, terrifies me). My most immediate plans are to get through this year with all A’s and graduate in May. After that? Perhaps I will work for a year before going on to grad school, or perhaps God has another plan for me. I would love to be involved in local politics somewhere or perhaps someday to teach at the college level. That, of course, would eventually require a PhD… I would like to leave this class with the ability to efficiently study the New Testament, and to gain greater insight into the word of God.
Hmm, this letter isn’t really flowing into the next topic—I should have put it at the beginning. Oh well!
I was raised in church. We went to First Assembly of God in Lexington until I was three months old (I was dedicated there). Then we moved to Easton, MD where we attended an AG church. My sister Sarah was born there when I was fourteen months old, and it was there that my father joined the Navy. We moved to Great Lakes, IL while he trained, and went to an AG church there. When I was two and half, my sister Rebekah was born. We moved soon after that, first to Orlando, FL and then to Springfield, MA. I think we were still AG at this point. My brother Charles was born in Massachusetts in late 1986. In 1987, we moved to Norfolk, VA, where we began attending Tabernacle Church of Norfolk, a non-denominational, non-charismatic church. It was here that I began attending Cubbies and Awana, and where I first gave my life to the Lord. My brother Sam was born in 1988, and at some point we stopped attending church regularly. When I was in the second grade, my brother Andrew Cory was still born, which was the beginning of a very difficult time for my family. It wasn’t until 1992, just after the birth of my sister Elizabeth that we returned to church. Our new church was Glad Tidings Assembly of God, and it was here that I first remember hearing anything about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. It was also at Glad Tidings that I was baptized in water. In 1993, we moved to St Marys, GA, where we attended Agape’ Christian Fellowship. Agape’ was… different. It was a non-denominational church, and it was most assuredly charismatic. People danced in church, they spoke in tongues… it was crazy! Well, it was at least an entirely new experience for me. My brother Josiah was born in 1996, and in 1997 we went full circle and returned to Lexington, and First Assembly.
To conclude this letter quickly (I did warn you that my letters are long), my favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Princess Bride. I love all kinds of music with the exception of heavy metal, rap, and new age jazz. The last two books I read were “Up in a Heaval” and “The Dastard,” both by Piers Anthony. And as much as I love fantasy, history, and (some) science fiction, my three favorite books are “The Scarlet Pimpernel,” “The House of Seven Gables,” and a short series of novellas by Francine Rivers about the women in the lineage of Jesus Christ… actually, I guess the last two probably have something in common with those three categories of books, but… well, anyway, that isn’t the point. The point is that I managed to keep this letter on two pages, and still cram in a frighteningly large amount of information.


Chicken Little

Friday, August 27, 2004

Life, or Something Like It

So, I actually had to put "post on your blog" on today's to-do list. Yes, I actually HAVE a to-do list! I have to! With the start of the semester, life has gone from "do nothing all day" summer to "busy as heck" fall. Let me give you an example of what I mean by sharing with you today's to-do list.

-Register car (get license plate # before chapel)
-Check e-mail (school)
-Talk to Dr. Holsinger about Practicum project (before 2)
-Find Mr. Murphy afterwards to find out how to join College Republicans
-Call Brandon Nelson about Pi Gamma Mu
-Call Erika and Amanda to set up time to work on Civil War project
-Get a notebook for Floor Council meetings
-Call Daddums (after nine PM)
-Call Home, Nathan, and Tara (in that order)
-Update Blog
-Do Laundry

Somewhere in there, I have to find time to take my medicine, eat lunch and/or dinner, and get some reading done for my classes (why put it off all weekend?) Everyday is busier than the one before, but I don't mind. So, let me tell you what has happened in the week I have been here:

Left Lexington at the crack of midnight, Saturday morning. Mom, Dad, Lizzy and Josiah came. Coughed most of the way, slept from 2 AM till 4 AM when Dad scared the crap out of us all in St Louis. Cleaned up all of my stuff that fell over in the back onto the sleeping little kids. Ate breakfast at McDonalds near Rolla. Got to Evangel 8AM CST, 9 AM EST. Stood in line for a couple of hours for check-in while my dad and said little kids carried all my stuff upstairs. Cried when parents left around noon (I think). Started unpacking, was accosted by roomate's mother for trying to rearrange my room. (geez). Went to Kansas City with Leah to pick up Jen Corey. Called home. Coughed and felt very very sick. Got back right before midnight. Went to my room, cried because said roomate's mother and father rearranged to room in such a way as I had very small space. Called Dad. Stayed up till seven AM trying to find a place for all my things so I could sleep somewhere. Slept.

Okay, that day was long and stressful, so it didn't deserve whole sentences. The next day, I was supposed to go pick Erika up from the airport at 1:30, but her flight was delayed until 3:45. I begged Abra to go get her, because I was so ill, and Abra graciously agreed. But first, she helped my get my stuff out of storage, and move most of it up to my room (the rest was in her trunk, and we didn't have time). By this time, I had taken two or three doses of dayquill, and was feeling slightly better. Also, Andy Wall saw us moving my stuff upstairs, and kindly volunteered to help. So, Andy and I accompanied Abra (I was still feeling too sick to drive) to Kansas City. We got there about an hour late (lots of construction plus Abra drives slow) and started back. We got in around 8 or 9, and Tara (who was helping Shannon move in) came over to see me. I went with Tara and her family (plus my roomate Lauren came along) to Steak & Shake, then Shannon, Tara, Lauren, and I went to Wal-Mart. Tara bought me a phone. Tara spent the night with me, we slept in the study room (for old times sake) and I was really sick all night. Didn't get much sleep. Tara went with her family to get stuff out of storage, and I went to bed. Later, I went to lunch with her family and her at Brahms. (odd place) That afternoon, Abra and Tara came over while I was on the phone with my dad, and helped me move furniture (including moving my roomates so that she wouldn't be taking up to whole room. We really only pushed her desk slightly closer to her bed. Half the room exactly.) Tara also tried to figure out a way to come back to school, but was unsuccessful. Tara left that night, and I think I called my parents again. I was still feeling really sick. Everyday I drank as much as 2 liters of water, but still felt dehydrated.

So, the last few days. I can't really remember exactly what happened each day, so I'll just list signifigant events. Firstly, I ate lunch and dinner in the Caf everyday, and I remembered that it always makes me sick. The last time I ate there (Wednesday night) I threw up that night and the next morning. I think its the Salad. I've also been sick with the bad coughing, sore throat, and constantly thirsty, so on Wednesday, I also went to the nurse. She gave me a shot, and a perscription for Keflex (cheap generic actually) for my cough. She said it probably just started off as a little cold, but the coughing probably inflamed my bronchial tubes, and caused a secondary infection sooo that is why I was coughing for two weeks. She also said the whole feeling dehydrated thing might be diabetes or a thyroid problem (actually, that was the reason I went to see her, because Jess was worried and told me that might be a problem) but she didn't want to do blood work while I was still sick (and also, I think she is hoping that I will be able to get insurance before she has to do it, because blood work is expensive). Um... I am still the treasurer for Pi Gamma Mu, so I have that to do this semester. I also was elected the secretary for my floor council! (YAY!) Classes, and a work study job, should keep me busy. Oh, and the work study job? Chief doesn't WANT to hire students, but he doesn't have a choice. Because, going into the second week of school, he still doesn't have enough dispatchers, so he gave in and I have at least an appointment to talk to him next week. It doesn't mean a job for sure, but it is likely! (Double YAY!) My roomate doesn't like to share things, so our room consists of two TVs, two dvd players, two fridges, two phones... you get the picture? I had to buy a spliter so that I would be able to watch TV (she took the cable) and I borrowed a spliter from Erika for my phone so that I would have my nice happy cordless phone that doesn't sound like an alarm (hers isn't a cordless, and the ring is LOUD and sounds like a fire alarm) I am all organized, my things are all unpacked and put away (mostly) and I even have a desk calender that is keeping me organized. And post-it notes! I call my parents almost everynight, unless they call me first, which is another change from previous semesters. I just can't stand the thought of not be connected to them, so... it makes me happy. Its hard, and there have been some difficult things that I am dealing with, but God is proving himself (as always) so very, very faithful. I am so blessed! I feel comforted, and trusting, even through the hard times, although I must confess I have my moments of fear and doubt. But God is teaching me to hang on, to trust Him, to just give every problem to Him, and to not worry. It brings to mind this verse:

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29, 30

God knows, and He is taking care of me.

Be good, watch TV...

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Life Sucks

It doesn't really suck, but right now I feel like it does... since today is Sunday, would anyone like to demonstrate their love for me and call me on my cell? I can't use the phone in my room, and if you call my cell I can explain why... (Or did I say in my audio post? I can't remember...)

Be good, watch T.V.

especially if your name is drooly ;-)
this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday, August 21, 2004

And they're off!

Well, guess what, boys and girls. It is 12:10 EST, and I am getting ready to go back to school. We are leaving ASAP, but I thought I would take a few minutes to say goodbye. Goodbye to Kentucky, good bye to my last summer of youth. After this year, I will be a bona fide grown up, fully responsible for myself. I will have to survive all on my own skills... well, maybe that is a bit exagerated, since I know that I am welcome to move back home... Its so hard! I still don't REALLY know what I want to do with my life.

Anyway, I am off to school... I am sure I will see you all soon, be it in person or on the 'net. Feel free to call if you know the number!

Oh, yeah, I would like to introduce someone new to you all, since I am most certain that her name will appear here once or twice in the next year... My new roomate, Lauren! I am going to meet her tomorrow (technically today) and hopefully, we will get along well. Thats all for now, be good, watch T.V.!

Friday, August 13, 2004

A Cake

Sooo... here is a picture of that cake I made (from scratch) for my mom's birthday last month (and it took me five hours). And also, I frosted the entire thing. By hand. It took so long!

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

I don't know if I want to rant today, or just blog my life away. Its kind of sad really, that I would have to make that kind of choice. But life is full of such choices... okay, I'm just being random now. Seriously.

My life is lacking beauty. I think that I have become so cynical, I can't appreciate the good in anything. If anyone has been reading this blog from the beginning (anyone? anyone? beuler?) you might realize that me living a life without some kind of beauty in it is not worth living at all. I NEED to see something for more than just the cold, physical matter that it is.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

this is MY reality! mine! *huggles it tightly*

Okay, so everyone knows my REAL name, but I did this with my username, so there!


Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Be good, watch TV!

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Who Am I

This song has been played a lot on Christian radio of late, but it struck something inside me the very first time I heard it. Maybe that is why it has been played so ofter? Anyway, it is called "Who Am I" by a group called 'Casting Crowns'. It suits my mood spiritualy, echoing the way I have been feeling of late. I just want to share this with you, and if you haven't heard it yet... go listen!

Who Am I

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what
You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

Chorus:I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I amI am Yours,
I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours.

~Casting Crowns

Be good, watch TV. *huggles*

Monday, August 02, 2004

This time around

Its been awhile since I really sat down to post anything. Audioblogging has made me lazy. I even considered making this post an audioblog, but then I realized that I am sitting right here, AT the computer. And gee, that would be awfully silly, wouldn't it? My mom wants to know what "be good, watch TV" means. If YOU don't know, you probably aren't laughing, but to those who do, well... *grins* Let me just say that there is a reason that Nathan and I both put it at the bottom of each post. Its our little... couple thing. *grins even more*

Let me think now, what interesting thing has happened to me? I've gotten more than half way through Xenogears, more than halfway through Warcraft 3, and I think I might finally beat Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. (raise your hands if you know that I have been spending my last three school breaks trying to beat that blasted game.) You know, I think I am the only person in the world that actually likes it. Except for the whole going back in time, losing all your work thing.

I also helped my mom in the nursery on Sunday. All of the babies in there were newborns or not-yet-borns when I left to go to school, and my last Sunday School Class is graduated Kindergarten and getting ready to go to Kids Church. I taught the twos. Well, there is still the kids I taught in the three months before I went to Evangel, but I don't honestly even remember who was in that class. I was talking to Hannah Price on Sunday. (she was in my first class that I taught when I was sixteen) Our family and a few others get together for our church's version of small groups (we only do them during the summer on Sunday nights) She is seven and a half, and nothing like the shy, terrified little two year old that I knew. She is outgoing, and somewhat boisterous. Her sister Lucy is five (in the group about to move up) and is still a little shy, but she actually remembers me and was playing and talking to me. It was cute, but sad. ANYWAYS. In the nursery was little Jessie Adams. I babysat all three of her older brothers before she was born, and I remember when Zack was only six months old. All three of the boys were in my Sunday School class, and now they are all big kids. There was another little girl, Micah, who insisted on giving me a hug and a kiss before she could leave (I had played with her a lot the whole morning) The whole experience made me sad, or at least melancholy. I'm too young to have the "good old days"! It doesn't seem like all these kids should grow up without me, I was part of their lives for so long. Even before I was sixteen, I babysat or worked in the nursery with them. I should upload some pictures of my kids that I taught, so you can see how cute they were (are still, but I don't have recent pics)

While I was living it up with the babies, they were having a prayer service in the church. My dad told me later about how they spent three minutes each on ten different topics, just everyone praying. One of the things that they prayed for was people who hate Christians, and my dad made this point: How can we pray for people to not hate us when the church as a whole has hated so many people? The church has struggled with racial hatred, religious hatred... a modern example: Hating gay people. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am a firm believer in "hate the sin, not the sinner." There is no world in which I think that homosexuality is right. BUT I have known, have loved people who were gay. Why? Because there is no reason at all to hate them. I disagree with lots of people. I know people who are liars, adulterers, who have committed any number of sins, myself more than most. But why should that make any difference in who I love? It doesn't make any sense to me, at all. If someone is doing wrong, and they are not a follower of Jesus Christ, it is not my place to try and change them. Its my privilege to love them, and to show them the One who loves them enough that He would give His very life for them. After that? Don't you think that God is powerful enough to do His own work on His children? Matthew 22:37-39, "Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" What more do you need?

Okay, enough with the ranting, what else? I've been working on my research project, tracing my genealogy. I'll post the results when I get done. I also got a B- in American West, which annoys me, because I think I did better than that grade. I mean, I did WAY less work in 19th century, for the same grade. Check out all the stuff I wrote: American West .

I have a new roommate named Lauren Brack. She is a transfer from Kansas City, I emailed her almost a week ago, but haven't heard anything yet. If you want to know why the dynamic duo had to break up, ask Tara, its her story to tell, not mine.

Josiah broke four bones, two in each arm, when he fell out of a tree. *shudders* I would post the picture, but its kind of a pain to post pictures on the spot. He got two casts, one full cast and one half cast, but the worst breaks, the ones on his right arm (in the full cast) were setting wrong (at a twentyfive degree angle) so he had to have surgery. They put him under anaesthesia, and rebroke both bones, set them properly, and put him in a splint. He has that for about a week more, and then back in the full cast. From that point, he will have his left arm in a cast for 3-5 weeks, and his right for 7-9 weeks. He loses the rest of the summer, and my parents are going to keep homeschooling him (he was supposed to start as Assembly Christian School) because it might be too much adjustment for him.

Well, I had better go, my daddy wants to go to bed and the computer is in my parents' room. *huggles* Have a loverly day!

Be good, watch TV


My japanese name is 吉国 Yoshikuni (good fortune country) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Be good, watch TV