Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Sad Songs Say So Much

Guess there are times when we all need to share a little pain
And ironing out the rough spots
Is the hardest part when memories remain
And it's times like these when we all need to hear the radio
`Cause from the lips of some old singer
We can share the troubles we already know

Turn them on, turn them on
Turn on those sad songs
When all hope is gone
Why don't you tune in and turn them on

They reach into your room
Just feel their gentle touch
When all hope is gone
Sad songs say so much

If someone else is suffering enough to write it down
When every single word makes sense
Then it's easier to have those songs around
The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you
and it feels so good to hurt so bad
And suffer just enough to sing the blues~Elton John~

It's funny how, even now, you still support me after all the things that I've done.
You're so good to me, wait impatiently, and isn't it sad that you still have to ask if I care?

My parents have been there for me so much, and I don't even deserve all that they've done for me. In fact, I don't deserve even a fraction of the love and support I have gotten from either of them... I hate knowing what an ungrateful person I am. And if I know myself, and I think I do, I will never be able to find a way to repay them.

I will survive! As long as i know how to love I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive. I will survive ~Gloria Gaynor~

I still don't think I can see the good in myself. Even after all this time, you would think, maybe just maybe I would have something to pull from when these moods hit. I'm left clinging to the rock, praying for the storm to pass, and all I can say is that I know that God will pull me through... battered and bruised, but I always survive. I have to remember that, no matter how hurt and hard I feel, I will survive.

I never said I was perfect

But I expect myself to be, don't I? In fact, I expect myself to achieve the lowest level of perfection possible, no matter how hard I try to be the best. I never realyl believe I can do it. I've never tried to convince anyone that I am a good person...

I got down on myself
Working too hard
Driving myself to death
Trying to beat up the faults in my head
What a mess I've made
Sure we all make mistakes
But they see me so large
That they think I'm immune to the pain

Walk on shells tonight
Can't do wrong tonight
And you can't say the word cause I need to know ....
I'm praying for a miracle
But I won't hold my breath ~Garbage~

And boy does THAT just say it all. *shakes her head* I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm so backwards. I should be happy! And I can't let anyone see how truly sad I am, because then... they might care. And then I bring someone in to share the pain, and they have to help me bear my burden. And thats my job! I have to be there for other people, no matter what the cost, or else how can I repay my debt? And the more bad I let other people be a part of, the greater the burden on my own shoulders to this world. Have you ever thought that maybe there are people like me who aren't meant to be happy? Because being happy causes guilt, and that doesn't seem right either. Gah! I don't even make any sense to myself anymore.

No comments:

Post a Comment