Friday, January 09, 2004

Where do I begin?

I don't even understand myself, or my life, lately. Its this crazy ride, and I don't know where I am going or where I am going to end up. I know that God is guiding me, though, or I would be a complete wreck. My sister was commenting last night that we should feel lucky because our lives are so much better than other people's, but I don't think that is a fair comparison. The bible says that God will never give us more than we can bear, and so maybe things aren't 'worse' for anyone. I know that I couldn't deal with certain things, but maybe there is something in my life that someone else would see and be like 'oh man, I can't imagine how hard that must be.'

At the same time, I know that I have been incredibly blessed by God. My parents are awesome people, and every family goes through a hard time, right? Anyway, my parents have beaten every odd that says they should have been divorced a long time ago, and I know that I am fortunate in this. This morning I was reminded of our last Lewis Hall Devos, and what it was that Cullen said to me. At the time, it only seemed to make moderate sense, but now... well, it was almost prophetic. He walked up to me and said, "Hey, [person that I am], God wanted me to tell you not to worry about your families problems, its in His hands and He is going to take care of it." That was all. I had been thinking about my family at that time, but it still didn't quite make sense to me.

I know my thoughts are all jumbled and confused sounding today, but I don't really know what to say. Its just so hard to explain everything, and how hard it has been.

On a completely random and separate note, Nathan and I have been dating for a month today *winks*

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