Friday, December 31, 2004

New Years Eve...

Well, even though I can't kiss my own querido at the stroke of midnight (we aren't even in the same time zone!) I can still wish everyone a Happy New Year! If you can, grab a loved one and hold them tightly, and if you can't, well... pretend you can!

Thursday, December 30, 2004

New new new new

Not that anyone at all reads this anymore BUT...

I changed the look of my blog for the first time in a very long time... 2 and a half years, I think. Anyway, I like it, even if it is a little pretty-like...

I should stop posting, this is my 141st post, and I don't think I'm talking to anyone but myself anymore...

Be good, Watch TV

or The Horse Who Wanted To Be A Letter

or The Horse Who Wanted To Be A Letter

Wow. This is a very interesting story... by interesting, I mean that I will never eat canned goods the same way again. I think you all should read it!

Be good, watch TV.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Go see Caly's blog!

The link is at the bottom of the post where it says "Link"...

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions; no more, no less. ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this, and allow your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
(Be forewarned, I am likely to answer, so only ask me something you really want to know!)



Be good, Watch T.V.!

*blinks*

I have tried, unsuccessfully, to audio post in the last month, but, obviously, it didn't work. Anyway, what is up with me? For starters, I spent three days trapped between Mount Vernon, Illinois and Evansville, Indiana, when I-64 was closed due to the wretched snowstorm and hundreds of people trapped in snowdrifts on the interstate. I left my favorite pillow in a skanky hotel room, and I am so sick of driving that... well, I have no way to complete that sentence, suffice to say that I am tired of it. I was so upset, and frustrated, and scared, I had dreams of dying without ever getting to see the people that I love. After my interesting.... adventures.. over Thanksgiving, you would think I would have learned!

Anyway.

Christmas was wonderful, and I have really been enjoying the time I have spent with my family. Christmas presents are wonderful, but family is better. *nods* I miss Nathan with an almost physical ache *sighs* but I knew these things would have to be endured when I chose to start a long distance relationship. Speaking of which!

Our one year anniversary was December ninth! *grins* We weren't together, but we spent the entire week before that together, so it was endurable. I had to cater that night, so I guess money is a good thing, too.

Finals. They sucked. I had three within 24 hours of each other... and they were long ones with many paged study-guides, too. I go TWO YEARS without a class with a comprehensive final, and then this semester four out of five are! I got an A in Civil War history (booyah, mister murphy!), a difficult and yet enjoyable task. I got a B in everything else, which sucks and lowered my GPA SO MUCH. BUT at least I didn't do any worse than a B! I think I am finally getting back on track after all my... issues... that damaged things.

I helped Tara move down to Springfield, which seems to have possible been the biggest mistake of my life. Not because of her, because I think she is finally getting settled and satisfied with her life, and that makes me happy... but after all the crap her family gave her, they are finally supporting her... and I guess I feel a little pushed out. They think I am taking advantage of her, which sucks because I always thought we both helped each other out when we needed it, and that I had made enough sacrifices for her that I didn't deserve that... but apparently that isn't true. I can't ever give enough, I suppose, to deserve friendship and normal relationships. But there is definetly strain now, I don't think she even likes to talk to me on the phone, or knows what to say to me. The hardest thing is, I know that she is SO GLAD that her family is on her side, and I should be dancing and rejoicing that they are! She really does deserve that after all the things they have said to and about her. I just didn't realize that it would come at the expense of one of the closest relationships I've ever had with someone outside of my family. Going back to school and seeing people is the one thing I least want to do, because now Tara is back, but I will still be missing her. *sighs* I guess you can tell what has been on my mind so much lately. Moving on...

I've been watching my brothers play video games like their lives depended on it. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers for X-Box and Spyro the Dragon for the Playstation (yeah, its old, my brother got if off of e-bay). My mom plays neopets, when my dad isn't drafting 280-500 page reports, or specs, or something, for his work. I've cleaned the kitchen a couple of times (and made the lil'uns help), chauferred my little brother, done some shopping, made dinner (Spagetti Sauce from scratch!! *dances* My dad did the major seasoning, though, cause I wasn't sure what to do.), cut Josiah's hair (muhahahaha), made apple-cherry pie (I thought they were cans of the same thing, but they weren't *laughs*), given my hair a deep-conditioning treatment, done some lifting (weights)(that Charles got for Christmas), played Legend of Ze;da (Oracle of Seasons:Gameboy color), Spyro, and LOTR a little, read a couple of books all the way through (The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, More than Honor by David Weber, The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien), and made a general nuisance of myself around the house. I'm getting a little bored (I don't even bother getting dressed till the afternoon) and I don't get to talk to Nathan nearly as much as I could wish, BUT I am enjoying being away from Springfield. My dad is going to make Corned Beef and Cabbage for New Years! *grins* I'm never here for St. Patrick's Day, so this is the only time I get to eat it all year, and it makes me so so so so happy! We had an "Italian Feast" for Christmas dinner, and I made Cannolis, but Nothing beats New Years. Except Thanksgiving. But everyone knows that.

So. I am going to get off here now, but feel free to drop me an e-mail anytime! Much love always!

Be good, Watch T.V.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Computer Labs and Rest Stops...

Here I am, everybody! My ridiculous 3,200 and some odd miles driving stint is finally over! I will spend my last weekend of the semester actually IN Springfield... Crazy. School is over in just two weeks.. this semester has flown by. I'm skipping a class I shouldn't be skipping right now, which sucks, but this stupid printer messed up, and I spent the last 45 minutes trying to fix, and by the time I realized that it would have saved me time if I had just walked to the Academic Building, I was already 15 mintues late. *grumbles* I know that I am doing better in this semester, as far as grades are concerned, but attendance...? It isn't ENTIRELY my fault, I was really sick for the first month and a half of school... I TRIED not to miss class, but it happens! I haven't heard any warnings of immenent doom, so pray that I haven't doomed myself to summer school. I'll let you know ;-)

Anyway, I just wanted to take a second to post and let you all know that I am, indeed, still alive!

Be good, watch TV...

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Time

It has been a month since the election. So much has happened! Politically, the crap has hit the fan in the oil for food scandle, and will be interesting to see how mister UN president handles the allegations that he helped to hide his son's involvement. Yassir Arafat died, and the Palestinians held new elections, with a more conservative man winning out. Half of President Bush's cabinet resigned, including Attorney General John Ashcroft and Colin Powell, and my heroine Condaleeza Rice (it seems like there ought to be the title "Lady" in front of her name... I don't know why) is going to take Powell's place. There has probably been more, I just haven't thought of it yet. Oh yeah! There was a shooting outside of the building in Haiti where Powell was making a speech. Craziness! And do you know what is even MORE crazy? I have kept up on all this news AND school.

Here is where the really crazy part begins. I haven't spent a weekend at school in a month. Between Tara's house, Nathan's house, and going home, I have driven over 2,500 miles in just the last two weeks. I spent 11 hours on a 3.5 hour stretch (normally) of I-70 between Kansas City and St Louis the day before Thanksgiving. My life has been NUTS! In the last month, I have had a test in EVERY CLASS, some classes have had more than one, I have had papers due in Spanish, Old Testament, Civil War History and Music Appreciation. I have had homework in most of these classes. And I've gotten MOST of it done... (one assignment missing) I have solid A's in a couple of classes, border line in a couple more, and Spanish is going to be my only low grade at all. This because my teacher and I have different methods of communication, and I'm not talking about a language barrier. But oh well, NO, NOT oh well, Yay! Because for the first time since I've been AT Evangel, I feel like I am in control of what is going on.

So. What else to say? Things that I can't say, I think. My head is so mixed up and crazy, and due to people READING this, I can't say why. Its rather sad really. And now I have you all wondering what it is that you did that I can't talk about. *grins evilly* And maybe I shall tell you and maybe I shant, but either way.... you will always wonder. Hmm.

Bedtime now! *smoochsmooch*

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Snuffy

Well, this is MOSTLY true...

Snuffy


Cuando era niña, yo tenía un amigo se llamó “Snuffy.” Snuffy fue un animalito pero yo creía que él fue una persona real. Snuffy fue también un mestizo entre un perro y un elefante. Supongo que él no tuviera un especie específico porque Snuffy es el Snuffelupagus de Sesame Street.
El estaba velludo con la piel mullido y moreno. Sus ojos estaban negros, su relleno algodón estaba aterronado y viejo, y él tenía una trompa larga. La cosa más importante de Snuffy está que, antes de él fue el animalito mió, él fue el animalito suerte de mi padre y mi tía.
Cuando mi padre era niño, mi abuela lo compró Snuffy. Papá lo trajo a Snuffy a todos sus juegos de béisbol y todos sus partidos de lucha. Snuffy tenía suerte. Cuando Papá tuvo ocho años, mi tía Laura nació. El se lo dio a Laura cuando ella empezó a competir en la gimnasia. Cualquier que juego los jóvenes jugaba, Snuffy tenía suerte.
Nací cuando tía Laura tuvo trece años. Entonces ella me lo dio el Snuffy a mí. No estuve una deportista, pero lo amaba. El durmió en mi cama, jugó con mis otros juguetes, y siempre él lograba a huir los sustantivos malos de mis hermanas. (Mis hermanas siempre tentaban a maquillarse a mis muñecas y otros animalitos con un bolígrafo.) Yo no sabía que Snuffy fuera un animalito suerte hasta mi abuela murió.
El primero tiempo yo oí la historia de Snuffy estaba a fúnebre de mi abuela. Papá y tía Laura se levantaron y dijeron el cuento de de Snuffy. Snuffy manifestaba la entrega que abuela tenía para su familia. Como cuando ella no pudo estar con nosotros, Snuffy estaba.
¿Dónde está Snuffy ahora? No se. Después el fúnebre, yo devolví Snuffy a Papá. Creo que Papá se lo da a mi hermano Josiah, pero no se. Lo perdí, pero acuerdo cuando Snuffy fue mi amigo.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Guess where I am?

I'm in Tarkio, silly-billy! I'm here with Tara and Amanda, and we have been watching flash movies all evening... I still love homestar. Just thought I would let everyone know that I am here and safe!

<3 Me

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Thursday, November 11, 2004

All Articles That Coruscate With Resplendence are Not Truly Auriferous

O'er this north door a trace still lingers
Of how a Gothic craftsman's fingers
Could make stones creep like ivy stems
And tilings coruscate like gems.

~George Bernard Shaw


I've decided that coruscate is my word of the day. It means "to give off or reflect light in bright beams or flashes, sparkle" OR "to be brilliant or showy in technique or style."

I have a chance to go out of town this weekend, basically to wherever I want. Nebraska, Tarkio... my friend just needs to get out of town. And that just happens to serve my motives quite perfectly. Unfortunately, I am
  • a halo widow.
  • So, somehow, I have to find a way to TELL Nathan that I will be in is general vicinity sometime tomorrow, and I don't have any way to do so! I don't think he saw the message I left him on a certain board in LoK. Pouty_Girlfriend indeed!

    Alright, well, Ima sign off and go to bed now. Much love, laughter, and good times to all!

    Be Good, watch TV

    Wednesday, November 10, 2004

    And Just Because I Like to Post

    I am of the opinion that one cannot possibly post on one's blog too many times. I fully believe that one should post until one has said all that one needs to say. That being clearly resolved, I shall continue on to my post.

    I have been doing a lot this week. On Monday, I had a Spanish test. *dies repeatedly* On Tuesday, I had a test in Old Testament. Between Sunday night and this exact moment, I have had about six hours of sleep. Spanish and Old Testament are my two lowest grades, you see, and so I had to study extra hard for them. And I think I did okay, but that is all I can promise. I should be in bed right now, I know that I should, but somehow the less I sleep the less I sleep. I wonder why that is?

    Today (meaning Tuesday) I also cleaned my room, hung up some posters and Christmas lights, and redecorated so as to make things pretty. And my roomate, by the way, is driving me crazy! One day she hates DJ, the next day she wants to have his babies, then they are just friends, then they aren't speaking... and she also likes to inform me of the opinion DJ has of me. Apparantly I am an annoying know-it-all. Now, any of you who know me at all know that I REALLY hate when people say that about me, almost to the point of paranoia. Add that to the fact that he has kind of creeped me out since the first time I met him (before my roomate did, BTW) and you might get the impression I have of him. So my life is kind of crazy. *smiles*

    Well, I think I should get some sleep. Sleep. Sleeeeee...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Be Good, Watch TV (NOT HALO!)

    John Ashcroft

    Well, this news is sure to generate a little comment on the Evangel Campus: John Ashcroft, the US Attorney General whose father was the President of Evangel 30 years ago, resigned today. I have to be honest, I wasn't expecting anything like this... and I have mixed emotions about it. I was so excited when he became attorney general! I still like him better than I ever liked Janet Reno, but by the same token, he made a lot of decisions that I heartily disagree with. I think this will be a story that I will be following for awhile...

    To All the Halo 2 Widows

    I feel your pain, I really do. You see, I too, lost a loved one to Halo 2. It is a sad thing, really. Because first they needed that warm-up week, to refresh all their skills on Halo the original. And I'm sure all of the grieving women out there are already well aware that at midnight last night, Halo 2 was introduced to the world. I don't know when my boyfriend is going to come back from the abyss... as long as he does. Too bad they don't have psychics to communicate with your Halo-dead....

    Be good, please stop playing Halo soon! ;-)

    Thursday, November 04, 2004

    Bloggerific!

    So, I'm registered for classes next semester. My advisor (and favorite professor) totally didn't even remember that I was a senior... Its so funny what advising week does to teacher's brains. I'm signed up for an Independant Study (the Political Development of Latin America), Intro to Theology (Doctrine!), Spanish Conversation, Washington Studies, and History of the Ancient World through the Roman Era. Only one of those classes is a gen-ed *dances* Do you know what that means? I am really graduating! OH! I should tell you about Washington Studies!

    I got accepted into this program where I will get to go to Washington for two weeks next year. The first week is a conference... thing, and we get to go to white house briefings, and behind-the-scenes tours of famous places, etc... The second week I get to intern at (hopefully) a Senator's office. Preferably Jim Bunning (Mitch McConnell imtimidates me) because Senator Bunning just seems so much more friendly and approachable (hehehe, 'specially next to Scotty Baeslar. You Kentucky peeps know what I'm talking about...) So, this is all set for the week starteing after the inauguration, SO we might get to go a couple days early and go to the inauguration!!! Although, bad news, I just found out that this is going to cost $300 more than expected, because we have to bring that much with us for emergencies. Le sigh. BUT... my grandfather paid for the rest of the trip. *sniffles* I don't deserve to be so lucky!

    Further, I spent that last couple of hours in the Social Science Office talking to Various and Sundry people, which is so much fun. Like, the office closed before all conversation was finished. I really feel like people at this school care about me as an individual.

    Lets see, Nathan is in Tarkio for two weeks, anticipating the release of Halo-2. I hate first person shooters, only slightly so because they steal away mi querido. Except Wolfenstein 3-D. That game kicked MAJOR butt. Anyways...

    Be good, Watch TV!

    A Sylvan Lad

    So, here is a Sylvan Lad that I drew. I drew him whilst studying for a quiz in Civil War history, a quiz that I got 29/30 of. Not my fault I didn't recognize the picture of Jo "The Gamecock" Johnston! Anyway... So here it is! Sorry it so big, but, wait... its my page, I'm not sorry!

    Be good, Watch TV... (even if you are in Tarkio and don't even know how much your girlfriend misses you!)


    Tuesday, November 02, 2004

    Elections

    I hope you voted today, I know I did. And guess what, all you doubters! I didn't vote a straight ticket. But I DID vote for President Bush, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. In this weeks edition of The Lance, the Evangel University newspaper (I use that term loosely), there was printed an Op/Ed piece by a student who believes that voting is nothing more than Hollywood Propaganda. He actually wrote that he believes that its pointless to vote, because our votes count for nothing! Well, guess what, count me in on the propaganda. Write in Mickey Mouse if you want to, but VOTE. Its not a privelage, its a Civic Duty. Like Jury Duty, only it takes about fifteen minutes and you don't get paid. Not that Jury Duty pays that much anyway.

    How can your voice count in the American Democratic Process if you never even try to be heard? I know that sometimes it feels like we are trying to vote the lesser of two evils, but things won't change as long as Americans just decide to GIVE UP. If you don't vote, you are letting someone else decide what is best for you, and they might not care what your best interests are. So, maybe you didn't vote today. There are more primaries in May. Actually, they have them like every two MONTHS in Missouri. Elections, I mean. And then next November. Its important.

    Evil Fuzzles From Beyond the Stars

    Blame my baby sister. She goes by the name Lizerd online, a name that I am proud to say that I gave her. Well, actually, I call her Lizard-breath but you know... (Her name is Elizabeth for the truly clueless) Amyway, so I got bored this summer. Bored to the point that I gave up on my quest to beat Majora's Mask, bored of my quest to beat Warcraft III, bored of my quest to beat Xenogears... all for the love of Neopets. You can't beat it. You can't really enjoy your little pets. Its the GAMES. My current favorite is Evil Fuzzles From Beyond the Stars, but I also enjoy Pet-Pet Sitter and Extreme Herder. Lizzy like Hannah and the Pirate Caves. I also like the auctions, where you can throw away all your game-earned neopoints on such items as stuffed toys for your neopets, or random items for your little neo house. I love it!

    Monday, October 25, 2004

    Did you ever wonder?

    This is just something I was thinking about today, I wonder how people would answer...

    When was the last time your mom picked you up?
    When was the last time you played pretend?
    What happened to all of your toys?
    When was the last time you took a bath with a brother/sister/cousin or with someone else innocently?
    When did you stop thinking that all members of the opposite sex were icky?
    How old were you when you last wet the bed?
    When did you stop believing that you could be anything you wanted?
    In short...
    When did you grow up?

    I was wrong...

    Life actually does not always suck. After the Worst Week Ever, and the beginnings of what narrowly escaped being the worst fall break ever (its a long story, but basically, I lived out Murphy's law.) Tara got to come see me for a couple of days. I cried when she had to get on the bus to go home. I was moderately depressed for the next few days, but randomly decided to ask Andy Wall to come watch a movie with me in my room on Friday Night. I don't even remember how it happened, but we decided to drive up to Nebraska and see Nathan on Saturday, stay the night, and come back Sunday! This was the Best Weekend Ever. It was amazing. Andy got to play Fable all weekend (why do I feel like this isn't the first time someone has said that exact same sentence in the last month?) and I got to spend all sorts of time with Nathan. We actually got to sit down and talk for the first time in ages... Never underestimate the value of a good conversation.

    I also came to the realization that I am never comepletly content and happy with my life without being with certain people. Its like.. something is always missing, and it feels completely full. When I am with my family (most of the time) particularly my parents, when I am with Tara, or when I am with Nathan. I think that it would be fully worse if I didn't have God, but He has promised that He will always be with me... and for that I am eternally grateful.

    Anyway, I just thought I ought to get back to posting, since I haven't in awhile!

    Be good, watch T.V.!

    Sunday, October 17, 2004

    Conversations in the Car

    conversation between me and Jessica Hardy on our way to pick up Tara:

    "Their vanilla milk shake is grubbin'!"
    "I don't know what that means."
    "Grubbin'?"
    "Yeah..."
    "It means good."
    "Oh. Well, mine isn't very good."
    "Its root bear, right?"
    "Its supposed to be."
    "So thats just what they tell you to get you to buy it."
    "Yep. It tastes like a marshmallow. A burned marshmallow."
    "Well, that's not that bad."
    "Actually, a stick that a burned marshmallow was cooked on. Thats what it tastes like."
    "Ew! Thats disgusting!"

    Friday, October 15, 2004

    Take Me Away...

    this time all I want is you
    there is no one else
    who can take your place
    this time you burned me with your eyes
    you see past all the lies
    you take it all away
    I've seen it all and it's never enough
    it keeps leaving me needing you
    take me away
    take me away
    I've got nothing left to say
    just take me away
    I try to make my way to you
    but still I feel so lost
    I don't know what else I can do
    I've seen it all and it's never enough
    it keeps leaving me needing you
    take me away
    take me away
    I've got nothing left to say
    just take me away
    don't give up on me yet
    don't forget who I am
    I know I'm not there yet
    but don't let me stay here alone
    this time all I want is you
    there is no one else
    who can take your place
    I've seen it all and it's never enough
    it keeps leaving me needing you
    take me away
    take me away
    I've got nothing left to say
    just take me away
    take me away
    take me away
    I've got nothing left to say
    just take me away


    I'm so tired. I just want to leave, I want to be done... I want everything to be right again, as it has so briefly been in moments in the past. I don't know it it ever will be right again. I don't feel like it will. I haven't even had a moment of reprieve for a very long time. Why can't I just have the few normal things that most people have? A job, a few faithful friends nearby... Why am I the loser outcast? What is it that I keep doing wrong? I know I've done something, and I swear I would quit if I only knew what it was. Is it possible for a heart to cry? For all the tears and sadness to stay inside? I try so hard to stay away from other people, to protect them from seeing how they hurt me, or from letting them be hurt by me. I don't think I succeed. If only someone could hear me trying not to cry for help... if only someone knew how desperately I needed it. But no one can. It is my job to live my life, and let everyone else live theirs without my selfishness tainting them.

    Don't feel bad, and don't worry! I have to write this, I have to get it on the outside of me, and it isn't for you. Just shake your head and tell yourself how melodramatic I am, how I overreact to the most stupid things. You'll be right.

    Thursday, October 14, 2004

    Hiding

    I don't think it is right that the only place I have to flee to is the internet... right now, the only people I can talk to are ON the internet. I know that Erika hates the fact that I am friends with Andy, but its because of times like this, when she seems to hate me and well... Andy doesn't. He doesn't (usually) care if I am upset when I talk to him, and it doesn't bother him when I use him to vent. Sometimes you just need a friend that you don't have to be afraid of offending. Even when he gets mad at me, he doesn't just decide to quit talking to me, or joining in the "alienate me" campaign. I value that.

    Its not often that I can vent so openly on here, but I've spent the last two weeks feeling hurt and rejected, and to be honest, I am tired of it. I don't know what it is that I do that makes so many people get mad at me all at once. I try to talk to people, but they aren't interested in figuring out what is wrong... but I can't believe that it is all my fault. I don't like to talk to Tara about all this, she has enough problems of her own, and I don't want to put her in the middle, especially since she is friends with my little "group" here at school. And Nathan, well, its not fair to burden him with this either, he is having a good time in Tarkio and I don't want to screw that up. Not that I could talk to him anyway... I can't even call him until he goes back to Nebraska.

    So what do I do? I hide everything as much as I possibly can, until this point when I can't help but cry in public, and there is nothing I can do to pretend that nothing anyone does hurts, and that everything is okay. So here it is.

    Monday, October 11, 2004

    random quizzie type things...

    By the way, thanks for the comments earlier! I love people who comment! And mom, WHY DID YOU CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR??? Don't you remember what happened last time you did that, back in '94? I do! The fact that I remember should tell you something... but I will withold judgment till I see it myself.... In the meantime...

    I AM 19% GEEK!
    19% GEEK
    I wanna be a geek. But I'm not. Why would I even want to be one. Do I think it's fun? I should try writting an online test application at 1 am in my underwear


    I AM 54% EMO!
    54% EMO
    Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater.


    I AM 54% SKA!
    54% SKA
    Well, maybe I'm trying too hard, maybe I'm not trying hard enough. I shouldn't forget my roots, and remember that punk and reggae wouldn't exist without ska.



    I AM 21% WHITE TRASH!
    21% WHITE TRASH
    I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

    A veces estoy una tuerca...

    Sometimes I just don't know what to post. If I post everything that has happened since the last time I posted, than I would be typing forever, and I am kind of sleepy...

    Well, how about this...

    People keep talking to me. Telling me the bad things they are going through. Confiding, they call it. And you know what the funny thing is? Its none of the people it seems like it ought to be. The people who I've been praying with, who just need me to lend a listening ear, are just like... people on my floor. Or on campus. Some of them are most assuredly friends... they just aren't the people that used to talk to me. I feel like I am left out of the loop that I used to be in... afraid to say the wrong thing because I will make someone feel bad, or afraid to feel bad myself in the event that someone might use that as a reason to feel worse themselves. I don't like to burden people, and I don't like people to worry about me. Its my job to do that for everyone else.

    Nah, thats not worth posting. Oops... already did... *grins*

    Be good, watch T.V. (even if you are in Tarkio!)

    Tuesday, October 05, 2004

    chicken strips in the garden with rice krispies

    Doesn't that sound like the name of some painting or something? Anyway... I have tried to post so many things in the last week, and I don't know if its blogger, the way blogger interacts with the network here, or if it is just the network, but this is the first time its letting me do ANYTHING. So, I will be posting more later, when I get around to it. But meanwhile, peruse this MSN conversation I had with my friend Jenna this afternoon.... It was 19 pages in Word!

    ---
    Our actual names were "(I love chicken strip day!)" and "Jenna-Ode to Dayquill...SALUTE!" but since these are really long names, I will just shorten them to Chicken and Jenna. K?

    Jenna Says:
    as the chicken in Home On the Range once said "who would eat a chicken?"
    Chicken Says:I would!!!
    Chicken Says:
    especially when they strip ;-D
    Jenna Says:
    lol..i know you would..me too..i chicken
    Jenna Says:you dirty person..lol
    Chicken Says:I know!
    Jenna Says:do the chicken strip
    Jenna Says:i mean,
    Jenna Says:lol!
    Chicken Says:*giggles*
    Jenna Says:lol
    Jenna Says:I [heart] you Chicken
    Jenna Says:you know, we haven't hung out at all this semester...we barely even see each other
    Jenna Says:i mourn the loss of you
    Chicken Says:aw
    Chicken Says:I heart you too
    Chicken Says:You mourn, huh?
    Chickeny Says:You barely enev said hi to me yesterday when i saw you *nods*
    Chicken Says:*sniffs*
    Jenna Says:yeah..that's why i'm wearing pink
    Chicken Says:*blinks*
    Jenna Says:oh i wasn't feeling good
    Chicken Says:aw
    Jenna Says:i felt like my head was going to fall off
    Jenna Says:so i may have heard you but not have seen you and just nodded to the tone of
    your voice...where was i when you said hi to me?
    Jenna Says:(this might be why they call me Dory)
    Chicken Says:Walking past the student union

    Chicken Says:And you looked straight at me
    Jenna Says:oh...lol..i might have been thinking about the nap i was going to take
    Chicken Says:And sort of waved
    Chicken Says:lol
    Jenna Says:hmm..well at least i recognized you..sometimes, people will say hi to me and i'll
    say hi to them after they have already walked past me so therefore, i look like i am saying hi to myself or the air...
    Jenna Says:lol
    Chicken Says:are you sure that you recognized me? or were you just saying hi to the person who
    said your name, unaware that it was me?
    Jenna Says:i'm pretty sure i didn't do that
    Chicken Says:but you don't remember
    Chicken Says:SO you may have
    Jenna Says:dude, i'll remember in like three weeks
    Chicken Says:Uh huh
    Chicken Says:you say this
    Chicken Says:did you know alaldin came out on dvd today?
    Jenna Says:yes..well i didn't know it was today but i knew it was coming out sometime in
    october so therefore..uh no
    Jenna Says:and i do believe it's aladin
    Jenna Says:not alaldin..looks like something osama bin laden would name his third
    trillioneth son
    Chicken Says:aladdin
    Chicken Says:i was typing too fast
    Jenna Says:well, my most sincere apologies
    Chicken Says:indeed
    Jenna Says:lol
    Chicken Says:the second d is very important
    Chicken Says:it probably means something
    Jenna Says:um why?
    Chicken Says:because
    Jenna Says:like what...Chicken?
    Chicken Says:it probably means something
    Chicken Says:no
    Jenna Says:aladChickenn
    Chicken Says:I'M not a person fromteh middle east
    Chicken Says:that just dsounds perverted
    Jenna Says:maybe you are but you just don't it
    Jenna Says:maybe you're....scary music..THE ANTICHRIST!
    Chicken Says:I know the capital of Brunei
    Chicken Says:Do you
    Jenna Says:sorry..in a totally weird mood
    Chicken Says:DO YOU
    Jenna Says:no
    Chicken Says:!!!!!
    Jenna Says:do i look like a history major?
    Chicken Says:Doesn't just EVERYONE know that
    Chicken Says:Its not a history question
    Chicken Says:its a geography question
    Jenna Says:well what is it then?
    Chicken Says:but since you come from the middle of nowhere, I guess we can't expect you to
    know.
    Jenna Says:dude, i'm taking geography right now and we just started the middle east
    Chicken Says:lol
    Jenna Says:oh dude don't talk...at least we have CORN!
    Chicken Says:are you taking it with garret?
    Jenna Says:yes..he cracks me up
    Chicken Says:that is all you have!
    Jenna Says:no..we have fields
    Chicken Says:I think you have it with Leah and Lauren
    Jenna Says:a who and a what?
    Chicken Says:did you take corn to the prom?
    Chicken Says:Leah and Lauren
    Jenna Says:no..he wouldn't go..he had a date with stalk
    Chicken Says:my roomate and a friend on my floor
    Chicken Says:was she is stalker?
    Chicken Says:thats dangerous
    Chicken Says:why can't you tell secrets in a garden?
    Jenna Says:i don't know them..i sit in the front with shannon, sheba, and katie
    Chicken Says:because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk
    Jenna Says:no..he was infatuated with her
    Jenna Says:haha!
    Chicken Says:you have to say it out loud to really make you laugh
    Jenna Says:that's great
    Chicken Says:infatuation is never lasting
    Jenna Says:well i guess you will have to tell me
    Jenna Says:oh it is with corn and stalk
    Chicken Says:its like chaff from weat
    Jenna Says:what????
    Jenna Says:lol
    Chicken Says:but you don't have wheat
    Chicken Says:so you wouldn't know
    Jenna Says:you can get chafed from wheat
    Jenna Says:dude, i have wheat...we do have Wheaties in iowa you know
    Chicken Says:Bandar Seri Begawan
    Jenna Says:what???
    Jenna Says:S:
    Chicken Says:Wheaties are gross
    Chicken Says:Its the capital of Brunie, silly
    Jenna Says:duh
    Chicken Says:You asked what it was
    Chicken Says:Brunei, too
    Jenna Says:but that was twenty minutes ago........
    Chicken Says:both of them
    Chicken Says:You still asked
    Jenna Says:okay...
    Jenna Says:i did
    Jenna Says:?
    Jenna Says:see, i'm dory
    Chicken Says:”Jenna- Ode to Dayquill..SALUTE! says:well what is it then?”
    Jenna Says:oh okay
    Chicken Says:See?
    Chicken Says:I told you
    Jenna Says:i am getting nothing accomplished..sighs..oh well
    Chicken Says:you should accomplish
    Jenna Says:oh dayquill my dayquill how lovely are your..umm...orange pills..they make me
    feel so much better...so i can be happy and feel better
    Chicken Says:You should nap
    Chicken Says:*nods*
    Chicken Says:I'm doing the food olympics *sighs*
    Chicken Says:They always ask the fat girl
    Chicken Says:
    :-D
    Chicken Says:What they don't know is that I barely eat! muhahahaha
    Jenna Says:lol
    Chicken Says:I'm not random
    Chicken Says:I'm just on a faster train of thought than anyone
    Jenna Says:i am randon
    Jenna Says:i mean, random
    Chicken Says:hi randon
    Chicken Says:I'm Chicken
    Chicken Says:Nice to meet you!
    Chicken Says:That would be a fun name
    Chicken Says:Randon
    Chicken Says:No one would know how to spell it
    Jenna Says:rolls eyes
    Chicken Says:It would confuse them
    Chicken Says:They would be like "Randon?"
    Chicken Says:Because it would SOUND like a name they had heard before
    Chicken Says:But it isn't
    Chicken Says:so they would be confused
    Chicken Says:and then you could take over the world!
    Jenna Says:you're evil
    Chicken Says:Or Randon could
    Chicken Says:whatever.
    Jenna Says:my multipersonalityChicken Says:Right
    Chicken Says:Your evil side
    Chicken Says:Which is mostly like your good side
    Chicken Says:Only Taller
    Jenna Says:LOL1
    Jenna Says:LOL!
    Chicken Says:Evil people are always tall
    Chicken Says:except for mini me
    Jenna Says:umm
    Chicken Says:but he was more of a sidekick
    Jenna Says:?
    Chicken Says:They are!
    Chicken Says:Think about it
    Chicken Says:Lex Luthor
    Chicken Says:tall
    Chicken Says:um
    Chicken Says:probably some other evil guys
    Chicken Says:that i can't think of
    Chicken Says:right now
    Jenna Says:well, it's cause your mind is in chicken strip mdoe
    Jenna Says:mode
    Chicken Says:i love them!
    Jenna Says:marry them then
    Chicken Says:I can't
    Chicken Says:I'm going to marry nathan!
    Jenna Says:deem?
    Jenna Says:ew sicko
    Chicken Says:NO
    Chicken Says:SIlly
    Chicken Says:Hes too perfect
    Chicken Says:Nathan Riley
    Jenna Says:what's that word?
    Chicken Says:what word?
    Jenna Says:nm
    Chicken Says:silly?
    Jenna Says:nathan deem too perfect? HA! i laugh at that
    Chicken Says:But the I was capitilized
    Chicken Says:so it looked like Sllly
    Chicken Says:instead of sIlly
    Chicken Says:they are different
    Chicken Says:there
    Chicken Says:now l and I won't look quite the smae
    Chicken Says:same
    Jenna Says:um...okay
    Chicken Says:too
    Jenna Says:it'd help if you could spell...
    Chicken Says:IlIlIl
    Chicken Says:I can spell
    Chicken Says:I can't type
    Chicken Says:BIG difference
    Jenna Says:lol
    Chicken Says:I'm going to post our conversation on my blog
    Chicken Says:beccause it amuses me so
    Jenna Says:why?
    Chicken Says:I mean
    Chicken Says:read it!
    Jenna Says:ooo..i'm famousChicken Says:Not yet
    Chicken Says:but you will be
    Chicken Says:oh yes.
    Chicken Says:you will be
    Chicken Says:*evil maniacal insane laughter*
    Jenna Says:lol
    Chicken Says:*cakle*
    Chicken Says:cackle
    Chicken Says:whatever
    Jenna Says:would have been even more funny if you said crackle
    Jenna Says:then i would have called you rice krispie
    Chicken Says:i have some marshmallow halloween cocoa rice krispies
    Jenna Says:ewwwwwww
    Jenna Says:too much sweet in one cereal
    Chicken Says:I love it1
    Chicken Says:!
    Jenna Says:okayy..good for you!
    Chicken Says:Thanks!
    Chicken Says:Except the other day
    Chicken Says:when I was talking to Nathan
    Chicken Says:not Deem
    Jenna Says:deem?
    Chicken Says:the other one
    Jenna Says:LOL!
    Chicken Says:mine
    Chicken Says:anyway
    Chicken Says:When I was talking to him
    Chicken Says:I got distracted
    Chicken Says:and my cereal got soggy
    Chicken Says:you know whats worse then soggy cocoa krispies?
    Chicken Says:soggy cocoa krisipies WITH MARSHMALLOWS
    Jenna Says:umm..i'm sorry..
    Chicken Says:*nods*
    Chicken Says:Scared yet?
    Jenna Says:very
    Jenna Says:dude, my dorm room is FREEZING!
    Chicken Says:Thats because they haven't turned the ac off yet
    Chicken Says:do you have the thermostat?
    Jenna Says:yes...and it's still COLD!
    Jenna Says:it's on 75 too
    Chicken Says:turn the fan off
    Jenna Says:i did
    Jenna Says:maybe it's cause my desk is by the window...
    Chicken Says:you should climb into bed and pull the covers up under your chin
    Jenna Says:then i would fall asleep...
    Chicken Says:And this would be bad how?
    Jenna Says:cause i have to practice with my accompanist in about a half hour...
    Chicken Says:ah
    Chicken Says:who is your accompaniest
    Chicken Says:?
    Chicken Says:Oh!
    Chicken Says:And
    Chicken Says:VOTE FOR RAKEL!
    Jenna Says:shannon davis
    Chicken Says:I don't know her
    Jenna Says:i'm not a senior..but i'd be divided between her and jenny bittinger
    Chicken Says:You can still vote
    Chicken Says:seniors nominate
    Chicken Says:everyone votes
    Jenna Says:oh okay
    Chicken Says:well, vote for rakel
    Chicken Says:because i love her
    Jenna Says:well i might wind up voting for jenny
    Jenna Says:i love them both but jenny's so nice and stuff
    Chicken Says:*sniffs*
    Chicken Says:So is Rakel! Plus, she is on my floor.

    Monday, October 04, 2004

    La Vanidad de la Modestia

    yet another essay...

    En su historia, “Las Cartas de Screwtape,” C. S. Lewis escribió sobre un demonio que escribe las cartas a su sobrino, otro demonio. Las cartas lo enseñan al sobrino ser un buen demonio. En una carta, Screwtape decide a hacerle a su sobrino un ejemplo.
    Él diga una historia sobre un tiempo cuando el espíritu maligno había tentado un cristiano. Cuando el hombre rogaría a Dios, Screwtape murmuraba en su oreja,
    -¿Ve que usted sea modesta? Jesús lo ama porque está un buen cristiano. Usted ruega siempre, adora Dios todos los días… Nadie es tan modesto como usted.
    Estaba círculo vicioso. Porque cuando el cristiano realizaba que había estado orgulloso, o vano, él parecí modesto otra vez.
    Lewis sabía la verdad. La naturaleza humana es siempre vana. Es fácil para el diablo a convencer el ser humano que tenga orgulloso in su modesta es natural y bien. “La modestia” no existe, excepto si existe in la imaginación de los “piadosos.” La Santa Biblia dice en Eclesiastés 1:14 (NVI),
    -Y he observado todo cuanto se hace en esta vida, y todo ello es absurdo, ¡es correr tras el viento!
    Hasta cuanto la gente cree que sea modesta, la gente no tiene razón. Está una esfuerza eterna, continua, y sin fin.
    O estaría. La Biblia dice también, en Proverbios 16:18 (NVI)
    -Al orgullo le sigue la destrucción, a la altanería, el fracaso.
    PERO
    -El temor del Señor es corrección y sabiduría; la humilidad precede a la honra. (Prov. 15:33, NVI)
    Es la verdad que la naturaleza humana es vana, pero por Cristo, y por su muerte, los seres humanos pueden parecer modestos a Jesús. Screwtape lo enseña a su sobrino que sea mal y del mismo modo, Dios nos enseña que seamos modestos. Cuando los demonios murmuran, porque de Cristo la esfuerza no continua.
    La modestia no existe, pero el amor, la misericordia, la gracia, que Dios se le da a humanidad, surte una camina para huir la naturaleza humana y la vanidad.

    Wednesday, September 29, 2004

    Ten days later...

    Sometimes you just have to blog...

    You know, a blog isn't really a journal, its just a snapshot. Like, "here is what I am thinking right now" or "here is something that happened just recently that really made me think." I'm not sure I entirely understand it, after all, I am working off of four hours of sleep and two table spoons of Nyquil here.

    Sometimes I don't blog because I just have to danged much to say. I can't keep up with everything, so I just leave my blogging for a day or ten. But I always come back to you, my (faithful?) readers, because mostly you are the ones that care... :) Its also an easy out for explaining really ocmplicated emotions or thoughts.

    I struggle with eternity, with beauty, life and death, with belief, and faith. I fight a daily battle to control my emotions and my fears. Things seem to pile up, making every little problem so much bigger in the realm of "inside my head." And then there are the good things. Moments of light, of happiness. Even when I am feeling the very worst, there may be something that can make me smile.

    I have had as much a reason for joy as for tears of late. There are bad things, and they are numerous. There always are. But there are also good things, things that bring joy and peace. So, thats why I haven't blogged lately.

    I guess I just don't know what to say.

    Be good, watch TV.

    Monday, September 13, 2004

    Esplunashun

    So, the previous two entrys are the same story, one in Spanish, the other English. I wrote the whole thing in Spanish, and realized that it sounded really silly when I translated it... but I think it is better in Spanish. Anyway, I only translated it so that y'all could understand what it said SO... here it is!

    Be good, Watch TV

    Snapshots

    He was an old man now. He was an ordinary man, with hair the color of slate and wrinkled skin. The boxes that covered the coffee table were a testament to his life, a life that had spanned more than eighty years. He was tired. He was going to die soon.

    As he leaned over to put his cup on the table, the closest box fell over, spilling its contents. The man couldn't help but notice the faces of the people in the pictures staring up at him. He picked up one photograph, and then another, and another, and he began to remember.

    He remembered when he had begun to take pictures. It was the wedding of his brother. The people were joyful. The bride was beautiful. His brother was happy. And the man was alone. He continued to look at the pictures. There were pictures of weddings, of chirstenings, of funerals, of parties. There were pictures of babies, lovers, old people, animals, the heavens, and anything else a man could possibly photograph.

    The man recalled how the years had passed, and how he continued to take pictures. As a photographer he had become famous for his beautiful work. He could capture the soul in one of his photographs. But he always watched life through the lens of his camera. Nobody knew the photographer, and the photographer didn't know anyone. And now he was old.

    He let the pictures fall from his hand. He suddenly realized that while he had been so busy photographing the lives of others, life itself had passed him by. A single tear dripped slowly down his wrinkled cheek. Only his photographs saw him close his eyes for the last time. Only his photographs saw him die.

    Fotografías

    Él ahora era un viejo hombre. Estaba ordinario, con pelo estaba el color de pizarra y piel arrugada. Las cajas que habían apilado encima de la mesa ratona eran un testamento de su vida, una vida que había alcanzado más de ochenta años. Estaba cansado. Pronto él morirá.

    Como él se inclinó para colocar su taza encima de la mesa, una caja próxima se cayó, se derramando el contenido. El hombre notaba las caras de la gente lo miraron de las fotografías. Le alzó una fotografía y otro y otro y el empezaba recordar.

    Recordó cuando el había empezado a tocar las fotografías. Estaba a la boda de su hermano. La gente estuvo alegre. La novia estuvo hermosa. Su hermano estuvo feliz. Y el hombre era solo. Él continuaba a mirar a los fotografías. Fueron fotografías de las bodas, los bautismos, los funerales, las fiestas. El fotografiaba los niños, los novios, los viejos, los animales, el cielo y todas las cosas un hombre podía fotografiar.

    El hombre recordó como los años pasaron y el continuaba a tocar las fotografías. El fotógrafo se ponía muy famoso porque su fotografías estaban muy hermoso. Él apresaba la alma del todo fotografió. Pero el siempre miraba vida a través de la lente de su cámara. Nadie sabían el fotógrafo, y el sabía nadie. Y ahora era un viejo.

    Él dejó las fotografías caer de su mano. De repente realizó que mientras él había ocupado fotografiando las vidas de otras, la vida lo había pasado. Una lágrima solo goteó lentamente abajo su mejilla arrugada. Solamente sus fotografías lo miraron cerrarse los ojos por la última vez. Solamente sus fotografías lo vieron morir.

    Wednesday, September 08, 2004

    Well

    I tried to post something earlier, but blogger was being all funky with their "errors" so I had to just, well... I gave up. *nods* Anyway. I really like the word anyway. And so. So. See? Its like the perfect transition word. With just two little letters it says "I'm tired of talking about this, lets move on. And I don't have enough patience to lead from one topic to another." So.

    I have Spanish class in a half hour. A half hour! Its too soon. I haven't missed any classes this semester, although I have missed chapel twice. Once because I didn't want to go, and one because I didn't feel well. That was this morning. I think I have to go to the nurse again, because I am still sick and I've finished my medicine. And also, my mom really wants me to get those bloodtests done. Ick! Did I write about that? I don't remember... Well, in case you don't know, the nurse thinks I have diabetes. Weird, eh? Or she said maybe there is something wrong with my Thyroid... whatever that means. I don't actually know. Not that you want to know anything about my health problems.

    I died my hair last night. No, not dyed, died. See, I tried to go back to my natural color, but its DARK!!! Like, very very dark. A chestnutty black. Or something. That I could live with, but it STREAKED. Thats right, I still have blond streaks in my hair. Its horrible! You can't really tell when its up (which it has been all day) but I can't wear it down, in any fashion. Its so painful to me.

    What happened to my perky optimism of the beginning of the semester or... yesterday. *shakes head* I don't know, but I want it back. I don't like being depressed... but I am fighting it. I will win! *mad laughter*

    Be good, watch TV!

    A Riddle Song

    That which eludes this verse and any verse,
    Unheard by sharpest ear, unform'd in clearest eye or cunningest mind,
    Nor lore nor fame, nor happiness nor wealth,
    And yet the pulse of every heart and life throughout the world incessantly,
    Which you and I and all pursuing ever ever miss,
    Open but still a secret, the real of the real, an illusion,
    Costless, vouchsafed to each, yet never man the owner,
    Which poets vainly seek to put in rhyme, historians in prose,
    Which sculptor never chisel'd yet, nor painter painted,
    Which vocalist never sung, nor orator nor actor ever utter'd,
    Invoking here and now I challenge for my song.
    Indifferently, 'mid public, private haunts, in solitude,

    Behind the mountain and the wood,
    Companion of the city's busiest streets, through the assemblage,
    It and its radiations constantly glide.

    In looks of fair unconscious babes,
    Or strangely in the coffin'd dead,
    Or show of breaking dawn or stars by night,
    As some dissolving delicate film of dreams,
    Hiding yet lingering.

    Two little breaths of words comprising it.
    Two words, yet all from first to last comprised in it.

    How ardently for it!
    How many ships have sail'd and sunk for it!
    How many travelers started from their homes and ne'er return'd!
    How much of genius boldly staked and lost for it!
    What countless stores of beauty, love, ventur'd for it!
    How all superbest deeds since
    Time began are traceable to it--and shall be to the end!
    How all heroic martyrdoms to it!
    How, justified by it, the horrors, evils, battles of the earth!
    How the bright fascinating lambent flames of it, in every age and land, have drawn men's eyes, Rich as a sunset on the Norway coast, the sky, the islands, and the cliffs,
    Or midnight's silent glowing northern lights unreachable.

    Haply God's riddle it, so vague and yet so certain,
    The soul for it, and all the visible universe for it,
    And heaven at last for it.

    ~Walt Whitman

    Monday, September 06, 2004

    ....Epiphany...

    Late on night I had a notion, an epiphany would be a better word...

    There is someone else I should be saying this too, at least, before I put it on here for all the world to see, to know... and he will likely read this before I ever say it to him. And maybe I'm wrong, but sometimes things are so hard to say on the phone, and I couldn't ruin the short time that I had with him... so without further ado.

    My epiphany.

    Things have been said that have lead me to believe that Nathan plans on proposing to me eventually. I say this knowing perfectly well that he plans on it, but it seemed easier to be vague. I don't know when, but everything seems to be pointing that way. So, when I first began to have an inkling that this was a distinct possibility (it was awhile ago) I started to get, well, freaked out. I thought seeing him in July would help me sort out what I was thinking and feeling, but it only confused me more. Inside it was almost a feeling of impending dread, and I can't explain it any better than that. Than I went through a long period of not being able to talk to Nathan... maybe no more than brief conversations for something like a month. Fast forward to this weekend:

    I asked Shannon if I could go home with her to Tarkio to visit Tara. A couple of hours later, someone asked me something about Nathan, and a lightbulb flickered in my brain, enlightening me to the fact that Nathan had told me he was going to Tarkio not two days earlier. So, I called him and told him that I, too, would be in Tarkio. What I didn't tell him was that seeing him was going to force me to make a decision that could affect us both.

    Backing up again.

    I don't really like taking little rabbit trails to explain things. (thats a lie) But this time, I have to. See, God has been doing a lot in my life this summer... I haven't talked about it much, afraid of jinxing it maybe. But I have started analyzing things in my life, asking God what needs to go and what needs to stay. Can you see where this is going? It wasn't just this, but it was one of the majoring things that started making me question my relationship with Nathan. Back to the story.

    So, I only got to spend about an hour or so with him walking around Tarkio on Saturday night. And things were good. Better. And I had been praying for God to give me the strength to do what I needed to do, whatever it was. Things are better. It probably doesn't seem like much to you. The entire situation happened inside of me, and very few people (no one, actually) really knew anything about it. But it was important to me. See, I had to give my relationship with Nathan to God, no matter what the cost. And I did, and things are better. I feel right now. I'm not afriad that dating is going to affect my relationship with God.

    Be good, watch TV.

    I love you, Nathan

    Tuesday, August 31, 2004

    A little bit of homework

    So, for my New Testament class, I had to compose a letter to my teacher about my life, the universe, and everything... *snickers* Anyway, it had to answer certain questions, and as some of you may know, I do love to write a good letter. This information isn't exactly all commonly known, so I thought I would post it here for your valiant approval. I don't know what that meant, exactly, but its 12:30 AM, for heaven's sake! Blah. Here it is!



    Dear Mr. Turnage,
    My name is [insert pseudonym here]. I’m twenty-one years old, and I come most recently from Lexington, Kentucky. You should be warned, letter writing is a hobby of mine, and I have been known to send twenty-page letters before. Lucky you! My name means “Gift of God” “light a lamp” “in the sheep meadow.” Now, my mom didn’t know the meaning of my name when I was born, but I like to think that it means God has had a destiny for me since before I was born. I do know that He guided my steps to Evangel University, and I trust that He has a plan for me when I leave here.
    To be honest, I nearly didn’t come to Evangel. I “graduated” from home school when I was seventeen, and knew that I wasn’t ready to go all the way to Missouri. It was my goal even then, had been in my heart since I was fourteen, but it wasn’t time yet. I took a semester off from school to work, and started college in the spring semester at the University of Kentucky. In the next two years, I joined the Christian Student Fellowship and UK, and became involved in the student leadership there. In a bit of irony, it was at this time that my relationship with God began to drift, and I began a number of unhealthy relationships… more “liberal” Christians… most particularly, that with my best friend Michael. I allowed myself to be emotionally abused, and couldn’t ever say “no” to anyone who asked a favor of me. I never crossed moral lines of the most obvious sins, drinking, sexual immorality, but there was definitely sin separating me from God.
    I didn’t want to come to Evangel after becoming so attached to my new life. I had so many friends, and I despaired of leaving them. But after receiving my associate’s degree, I decided that I didn’t want to pursue an education at UK, and transferred to Evangel. I struggled at first, for almost a year, with adjusting to life in Missouri. Raised mostly in the south, the Midwestern culture shocked my senses. The people were different, and for the first time in my life, I was well and truly away from my family. That particular period of my life was the most difficult I have ever struggled with, but by the Grace of God, I was able to let go of all the baggage I had accumulated over the last two years. It took time, but I finally realized that this was where God meant for me to be.
    I am by nature an unselfish person, which occasionally gets me into trouble. Coupled with a low self-esteem, I have also had to struggle with depression. This is probably my greatest weakness. When I fall into a bout of depression, I get discouraged and frightened. I actually am afraid to write when I get like this… I don’t know why, but just sitting down and putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) terrifies me. During these times, I manage to accomplish very little.
    On the other hand, this weakness has also lead to my greatest strength. First because I have to lean on God, and this has strengthened my faith in Him and in myself. Second because I have learned to overcome the worst of my depression, and refuse to allow myself to become trapped in fear and doubt. I think that God has used the entire situation to challenge me, and force me to grow.
    My life goals are… somewhat vague. I know that God is leading me, but I’m not sure where! I am a History major, with a minor in Spanish (which, by the way, terrifies me). My most immediate plans are to get through this year with all A’s and graduate in May. After that? Perhaps I will work for a year before going on to grad school, or perhaps God has another plan for me. I would love to be involved in local politics somewhere or perhaps someday to teach at the college level. That, of course, would eventually require a PhD… I would like to leave this class with the ability to efficiently study the New Testament, and to gain greater insight into the word of God.
    Hmm, this letter isn’t really flowing into the next topic—I should have put it at the beginning. Oh well!
    I was raised in church. We went to First Assembly of God in Lexington until I was three months old (I was dedicated there). Then we moved to Easton, MD where we attended an AG church. My sister Sarah was born there when I was fourteen months old, and it was there that my father joined the Navy. We moved to Great Lakes, IL while he trained, and went to an AG church there. When I was two and half, my sister Rebekah was born. We moved soon after that, first to Orlando, FL and then to Springfield, MA. I think we were still AG at this point. My brother Charles was born in Massachusetts in late 1986. In 1987, we moved to Norfolk, VA, where we began attending Tabernacle Church of Norfolk, a non-denominational, non-charismatic church. It was here that I began attending Cubbies and Awana, and where I first gave my life to the Lord. My brother Sam was born in 1988, and at some point we stopped attending church regularly. When I was in the second grade, my brother Andrew Cory was still born, which was the beginning of a very difficult time for my family. It wasn’t until 1992, just after the birth of my sister Elizabeth that we returned to church. Our new church was Glad Tidings Assembly of God, and it was here that I first remember hearing anything about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. It was also at Glad Tidings that I was baptized in water. In 1993, we moved to St Marys, GA, where we attended Agape’ Christian Fellowship. Agape’ was… different. It was a non-denominational church, and it was most assuredly charismatic. People danced in church, they spoke in tongues… it was crazy! Well, it was at least an entirely new experience for me. My brother Josiah was born in 1996, and in 1997 we went full circle and returned to Lexington, and First Assembly.
    To conclude this letter quickly (I did warn you that my letters are long), my favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Princess Bride. I love all kinds of music with the exception of heavy metal, rap, and new age jazz. The last two books I read were “Up in a Heaval” and “The Dastard,” both by Piers Anthony. And as much as I love fantasy, history, and (some) science fiction, my three favorite books are “The Scarlet Pimpernel,” “The House of Seven Gables,” and a short series of novellas by Francine Rivers about the women in the lineage of Jesus Christ… actually, I guess the last two probably have something in common with those three categories of books, but… well, anyway, that isn’t the point. The point is that I managed to keep this letter on two pages, and still cram in a frighteningly large amount of information.

    Sincerely,

    Chicken Little

    Friday, August 27, 2004

    Life, or Something Like It

    So, I actually had to put "post on your blog" on today's to-do list. Yes, I actually HAVE a to-do list! I have to! With the start of the semester, life has gone from "do nothing all day" summer to "busy as heck" fall. Let me give you an example of what I mean by sharing with you today's to-do list.

    -Register car (get license plate # before chapel)
    -Check e-mail (school)
    -Talk to Dr. Holsinger about Practicum project (before 2)
    -Find Mr. Murphy afterwards to find out how to join College Republicans
    -Call Brandon Nelson about Pi Gamma Mu
    -Call Erika and Amanda to set up time to work on Civil War project
    -Get a notebook for Floor Council meetings
    -Call Daddums (after nine PM)
    -Call Home, Nathan, and Tara (in that order)
    -Update Blog
    -Do Laundry

    Somewhere in there, I have to find time to take my medicine, eat lunch and/or dinner, and get some reading done for my classes (why put it off all weekend?) Everyday is busier than the one before, but I don't mind. So, let me tell you what has happened in the week I have been here:

    Left Lexington at the crack of midnight, Saturday morning. Mom, Dad, Lizzy and Josiah came. Coughed most of the way, slept from 2 AM till 4 AM when Dad scared the crap out of us all in St Louis. Cleaned up all of my stuff that fell over in the back onto the sleeping little kids. Ate breakfast at McDonalds near Rolla. Got to Evangel 8AM CST, 9 AM EST. Stood in line for a couple of hours for check-in while my dad and said little kids carried all my stuff upstairs. Cried when parents left around noon (I think). Started unpacking, was accosted by roomate's mother for trying to rearrange my room. (geez). Went to Kansas City with Leah to pick up Jen Corey. Called home. Coughed and felt very very sick. Got back right before midnight. Went to my room, cried because said roomate's mother and father rearranged to room in such a way as I had very small space. Called Dad. Stayed up till seven AM trying to find a place for all my things so I could sleep somewhere. Slept.

    Okay, that day was long and stressful, so it didn't deserve whole sentences. The next day, I was supposed to go pick Erika up from the airport at 1:30, but her flight was delayed until 3:45. I begged Abra to go get her, because I was so ill, and Abra graciously agreed. But first, she helped my get my stuff out of storage, and move most of it up to my room (the rest was in her trunk, and we didn't have time). By this time, I had taken two or three doses of dayquill, and was feeling slightly better. Also, Andy Wall saw us moving my stuff upstairs, and kindly volunteered to help. So, Andy and I accompanied Abra (I was still feeling too sick to drive) to Kansas City. We got there about an hour late (lots of construction plus Abra drives slow) and started back. We got in around 8 or 9, and Tara (who was helping Shannon move in) came over to see me. I went with Tara and her family (plus my roomate Lauren came along) to Steak & Shake, then Shannon, Tara, Lauren, and I went to Wal-Mart. Tara bought me a phone. Tara spent the night with me, we slept in the study room (for old times sake) and I was really sick all night. Didn't get much sleep. Tara went with her family to get stuff out of storage, and I went to bed. Later, I went to lunch with her family and her at Brahms. (odd place) That afternoon, Abra and Tara came over while I was on the phone with my dad, and helped me move furniture (including moving my roomates so that she wouldn't be taking up to whole room. We really only pushed her desk slightly closer to her bed. Half the room exactly.) Tara also tried to figure out a way to come back to school, but was unsuccessful. Tara left that night, and I think I called my parents again. I was still feeling really sick. Everyday I drank as much as 2 liters of water, but still felt dehydrated.

    So, the last few days. I can't really remember exactly what happened each day, so I'll just list signifigant events. Firstly, I ate lunch and dinner in the Caf everyday, and I remembered that it always makes me sick. The last time I ate there (Wednesday night) I threw up that night and the next morning. I think its the Salad. I've also been sick with the bad coughing, sore throat, and constantly thirsty, so on Wednesday, I also went to the nurse. She gave me a shot, and a perscription for Keflex (cheap generic actually) for my cough. She said it probably just started off as a little cold, but the coughing probably inflamed my bronchial tubes, and caused a secondary infection sooo that is why I was coughing for two weeks. She also said the whole feeling dehydrated thing might be diabetes or a thyroid problem (actually, that was the reason I went to see her, because Jess was worried and told me that might be a problem) but she didn't want to do blood work while I was still sick (and also, I think she is hoping that I will be able to get insurance before she has to do it, because blood work is expensive). Um... I am still the treasurer for Pi Gamma Mu, so I have that to do this semester. I also was elected the secretary for my floor council! (YAY!) Classes, and a work study job, should keep me busy. Oh, and the work study job? Chief doesn't WANT to hire students, but he doesn't have a choice. Because, going into the second week of school, he still doesn't have enough dispatchers, so he gave in and I have at least an appointment to talk to him next week. It doesn't mean a job for sure, but it is likely! (Double YAY!) My roomate doesn't like to share things, so our room consists of two TVs, two dvd players, two fridges, two phones... you get the picture? I had to buy a spliter so that I would be able to watch TV (she took the cable) and I borrowed a spliter from Erika for my phone so that I would have my nice happy cordless phone that doesn't sound like an alarm (hers isn't a cordless, and the ring is LOUD and sounds like a fire alarm) I am all organized, my things are all unpacked and put away (mostly) and I even have a desk calender that is keeping me organized. And post-it notes! I call my parents almost everynight, unless they call me first, which is another change from previous semesters. I just can't stand the thought of not be connected to them, so... it makes me happy. Its hard, and there have been some difficult things that I am dealing with, but God is proving himself (as always) so very, very faithful. I am so blessed! I feel comforted, and trusting, even through the hard times, although I must confess I have my moments of fear and doubt. But God is teaching me to hang on, to trust Him, to just give every problem to Him, and to not worry. It brings to mind this verse:

    "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29, 30

    God knows, and He is taking care of me.

    Be good, watch TV...

    Sunday, August 22, 2004

    Life Sucks

    It doesn't really suck, but right now I feel like it does... since today is Sunday, would anyone like to demonstrate their love for me and call me on my cell? I can't use the phone in my room, and if you call my cell I can explain why... (Or did I say in my audio post? I can't remember...)

    Be good, watch T.V.

    especially if your name is drooly ;-)
    this is an audio post - click to play

    Saturday, August 21, 2004

    And they're off!

    Well, guess what, boys and girls. It is 12:10 EST, and I am getting ready to go back to school. We are leaving ASAP, but I thought I would take a few minutes to say goodbye. Goodbye to Kentucky, good bye to my last summer of youth. After this year, I will be a bona fide grown up, fully responsible for myself. I will have to survive all on my own skills... well, maybe that is a bit exagerated, since I know that I am welcome to move back home... Its so hard! I still don't REALLY know what I want to do with my life.

    Anyway, I am off to school... I am sure I will see you all soon, be it in person or on the 'net. Feel free to call if you know the number!

    Oh, yeah, I would like to introduce someone new to you all, since I am most certain that her name will appear here once or twice in the next year... My new roomate, Lauren! I am going to meet her tomorrow (technically today) and hopefully, we will get along well. Thats all for now, be good, watch T.V.!

    Friday, August 13, 2004

    A Cake

    Sooo... here is a picture of that cake I made (from scratch) for my mom's birthday last month (and it took me five hours). And also, I frosted the entire thing. By hand. It took so long!


    Wednesday, August 11, 2004

    I don't know if I want to rant today, or just blog my life away. Its kind of sad really, that I would have to make that kind of choice. But life is full of such choices... okay, I'm just being random now. Seriously.

    My life is lacking beauty. I think that I have become so cynical, I can't appreciate the good in anything. If anyone has been reading this blog from the beginning (anyone? anyone? beuler?) you might realize that me living a life without some kind of beauty in it is not worth living at all. I NEED to see something for more than just the cold, physical matter that it is.

    Tuesday, August 10, 2004

    this is MY reality! mine! *huggles it tightly*

    Okay, so everyone knows my REAL name, but I did this with my username, so there!

    AAmorous
    LLight
    LLuxurious
    EExhausting
    IIndustrious
    NNerdy

    Name / Username:


    Name Acronym Generator
    From Go-Quiz.com

    Be good, watch TV!

    Sunday, August 08, 2004

    Who Am I

    This song has been played a lot on Christian radio of late, but it struck something inside me the very first time I heard it. Maybe that is why it has been played so ofter? Anyway, it is called "Who Am I" by a group called 'Casting Crowns'. It suits my mood spiritualy, echoing the way I have been feeling of late. I just want to share this with you, and if you haven't heard it yet... go listen!

    Who Am I

    Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
    Would care to know my name
    Would care to feel my hurt
    Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
    Would choose to light the way
    For my ever wandering heart

    Not because of who I am
    But because of what
    You've done
    Not because of what I've done
    But because of who You are

    Chorus:I am a flower quickly fading
    Here today and gone tomorrow
    A wave tossed in the ocean
    A vapor in the wind
    Still You hear me when I'm calling
    Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
    And You've told me who I amI am Yours,
    I am Yours

    Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
    Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
    Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
    Would call out through the rain
    And calm the storm in me

    I am Yours
    Whom shall I fear
    Whom shall I fear
    'Cause I am Yours
    I am Yours.

    ~Casting Crowns


    Be good, watch TV. *huggles*

    Monday, August 02, 2004

    This time around

    Its been awhile since I really sat down to post anything. Audioblogging has made me lazy. I even considered making this post an audioblog, but then I realized that I am sitting right here, AT the computer. And gee, that would be awfully silly, wouldn't it? My mom wants to know what "be good, watch TV" means. If YOU don't know, you probably aren't laughing, but to those who do, well... *grins* Let me just say that there is a reason that Nathan and I both put it at the bottom of each post. Its our little... couple thing. *grins even more*

    Let me think now, what interesting thing has happened to me? I've gotten more than half way through Xenogears, more than halfway through Warcraft 3, and I think I might finally beat Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. (raise your hands if you know that I have been spending my last three school breaks trying to beat that blasted game.) You know, I think I am the only person in the world that actually likes it. Except for the whole going back in time, losing all your work thing.

    I also helped my mom in the nursery on Sunday. All of the babies in there were newborns or not-yet-borns when I left to go to school, and my last Sunday School Class is graduated Kindergarten and getting ready to go to Kids Church. I taught the twos. Well, there is still the kids I taught in the three months before I went to Evangel, but I don't honestly even remember who was in that class. I was talking to Hannah Price on Sunday. (she was in my first class that I taught when I was sixteen) Our family and a few others get together for our church's version of small groups (we only do them during the summer on Sunday nights) She is seven and a half, and nothing like the shy, terrified little two year old that I knew. She is outgoing, and somewhat boisterous. Her sister Lucy is five (in the group about to move up) and is still a little shy, but she actually remembers me and was playing and talking to me. It was cute, but sad. ANYWAYS. In the nursery was little Jessie Adams. I babysat all three of her older brothers before she was born, and I remember when Zack was only six months old. All three of the boys were in my Sunday School class, and now they are all big kids. There was another little girl, Micah, who insisted on giving me a hug and a kiss before she could leave (I had played with her a lot the whole morning) The whole experience made me sad, or at least melancholy. I'm too young to have the "good old days"! It doesn't seem like all these kids should grow up without me, I was part of their lives for so long. Even before I was sixteen, I babysat or worked in the nursery with them. I should upload some pictures of my kids that I taught, so you can see how cute they were (are still, but I don't have recent pics)

    While I was living it up with the babies, they were having a prayer service in the church. My dad told me later about how they spent three minutes each on ten different topics, just everyone praying. One of the things that they prayed for was people who hate Christians, and my dad made this point: How can we pray for people to not hate us when the church as a whole has hated so many people? The church has struggled with racial hatred, religious hatred... a modern example: Hating gay people. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am a firm believer in "hate the sin, not the sinner." There is no world in which I think that homosexuality is right. BUT I have known, have loved people who were gay. Why? Because there is no reason at all to hate them. I disagree with lots of people. I know people who are liars, adulterers, who have committed any number of sins, myself more than most. But why should that make any difference in who I love? It doesn't make any sense to me, at all. If someone is doing wrong, and they are not a follower of Jesus Christ, it is not my place to try and change them. Its my privilege to love them, and to show them the One who loves them enough that He would give His very life for them. After that? Don't you think that God is powerful enough to do His own work on His children? Matthew 22:37-39, "Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" What more do you need?

    Okay, enough with the ranting, what else? I've been working on my research project, tracing my genealogy. I'll post the results when I get done. I also got a B- in American West, which annoys me, because I think I did better than that grade. I mean, I did WAY less work in 19th century, for the same grade. Check out all the stuff I wrote: American West .

    I have a new roommate named Lauren Brack. She is a transfer from Kansas City, I emailed her almost a week ago, but haven't heard anything yet. If you want to know why the dynamic duo had to break up, ask Tara, its her story to tell, not mine.

    Josiah broke four bones, two in each arm, when he fell out of a tree. *shudders* I would post the picture, but its kind of a pain to post pictures on the spot. He got two casts, one full cast and one half cast, but the worst breaks, the ones on his right arm (in the full cast) were setting wrong (at a twentyfive degree angle) so he had to have surgery. They put him under anaesthesia, and rebroke both bones, set them properly, and put him in a splint. He has that for about a week more, and then back in the full cast. From that point, he will have his left arm in a cast for 3-5 weeks, and his right for 7-9 weeks. He loses the rest of the summer, and my parents are going to keep homeschooling him (he was supposed to start as Assembly Christian School) because it might be too much adjustment for him.

    Well, I had better go, my daddy wants to go to bed and the computer is in my parents' room. *huggles* Have a loverly day!

    Be good, watch TV

    Japanese!

    My japanese name is 吉国 Yoshikuni (good fortune country) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
    Take your real japanese name generator! today!
    Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.



    Be good, watch TV

    Sunday, July 25, 2004

    this is an audio post - click to play
     
     
    And here is my transcription of part of that (the general idea):
     
    Note to self:  Type this as a real post later.

    Well, ladies and folks, it is 12:15 AM as I begin today’s thought of the day, and in true general rant fashion, I am not going to go into the specific cause of today’s soapbox moment, but simply give you the result of a very complicated formula.  So here goes.  What is wrong with my generation?  To borrow from my sister Rebekah, where did the “cabbage-mutant-ninja-patch” kids go wrong?  Four, five, six years ago, we were front-row sitting, holy ghost filled, devil-butt-kicking warriors in the name of God.  When did real life take over?

    It is so hard to believe your message when I find out the things you’ve been doing when no one is looking.  What happened to integrity, purity, sanctity, wholeness, holiness, respect?  How can you say you love God, raise your hands in church, say you know God has a calling on your life, and then wantonly throw it all back in the face of the Omnipotent Creator of heaven and earth?

    Yeah, the path he asks us to follow is narrow, but it is straight.  Don’t blame anyone but yourself when you fall, you could have made a better choice.  Be you.  Step up to the plate.  Don’t mess around with God, you are only hurting yourself.  And you KNOW I mean me, too.  I may be the “worst of sinners” but I wanna make things right.

    I’m tired of messing around.  I’m tired of seeing my generation, and the generation following mine, coming up in the church right now, fall away, and become just “normal adults,” people with messed up lives, a mortgage, a car payment, two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence.  Honestly!  Is that all we want for our lives?  Can’t we make any sacrifices to see this world changed?  Make a difference?  We’ve been hearing this our whole lives: “You are the generation that is going to make a difference in this world.  It’s all up to you now.”  And the older you get, the less opportunity you have.  Don’t waste that!

    Okay, that’s all I felt like transcribing, you can listen to the whole rant if you WANT to, but this is the gist of it.
     
    Be good, watch TV!

    Saturday, July 17, 2004

    The pictures

    I told you pictures would be here shortly!  The only problem, I don't know how to make them any smaller, so this will be a looooong post.  One of my msn groups hasn't been working, so hopefully this one will not also kick the bucket. 
     
     
    >
     
    This is the night after Jason arrived in Springfield.  He and Tara were leaning over a photo album, being all cute, when I snapped this. 
     
    >
     
    This is in Nebraska, at Nathan's dad's house.  Tara and David and Jason were just sitting around playing Budokai 2 and I requested a goofy face picture.  Only Jason obliged. 
     
    >
     
    This was when we stopped at a gas station after going to see Spiderman 2 in Auburn, Nebraska.  They guys were having a "see who can carry Tara for the longest amount of time contest."  Jason won *winks* 
     
    >
     
    See above description... 
     
     
    >
     
    So, here we are, getting ready to leave.  Taking pictures with the sun behind you isn't a good idea!  Its Nathan, me, Tara, and Jason.  Notice in this picture... Nathan's haircut!!! Compare to the picture from the gas station... *evil laughter*
     
     
    Be good, Watch TV!






    Wednesday, July 14, 2004

    A long one!

    This is an actual for real long post about what I did last weekend... five minutes of all ME!  Muhahahahahahaha...

    this is an audio post - click to play
     
    Be good, Watch TV!

    Tuesday, July 13, 2004

    Monday, July 12, 2004

    It Begins

    My first audio blog, dedicated to the fact that I can now post... audibly!


    this is an audio post - click to play
     
    Be good, watch TV

    Ooooh

    That was so fun, I want to audioblog again! But I really was thinking of a lot of things I want to post on here as I drove back from St Louis today. Five hours + NO sleep= Creative genius. Or not.. okay, nap time! *huggles*

    Be good, watch TV

    Tuesday, July 06, 2004

    randomness...

    Ever just out, minding your own business, strolling across the internet, when suddenly you find yourself confronted by someone's blog and you think to yourself, "...whoa... freaky..."? I have. You see, I was doing just that, and I saw this guys blog and realized that not only was it really interesting and poetic (what there is of it) but that I found myself with something in common of a complete stranger. So, here it is, the link, in case you too wish to snoop around on the internet like...
  • When Not to Speak
  • . Its really pretty neat, albeit short. What else to say?

    Tara and I were so grouchy this morning! I got upset first when the phone rang for Tara at 7 AM and she didn't answer it, so I had to. Then at 7:30 when she and Erika woke me up talking about heaven knows what (I am pretty sure I yelled at them that time). Then at 9:30 when Tara came back in, and at 10 AM with the phone again (Tara had gone back to bed). That time I actually got OUT of bed, because I thought I had to go pick Jason up. At some point, I think Tara and I started yelling at each other, but the whole thing is kind of fuzzy. I know she told me she was mad at me, but she doesn't remember it at all. I was once more awakened at 1:00 PM, friend across the hall crying loudly. After comforting her, I gave up and took a shower. This is what happens when one doesn't go to bed until 4:30. I still feel a bit woozy, but as I always, I blame that wretched mood on the fact that I was not only not awake, but also sick. And I drove all night. Still feel bad, though...

    I cut Nathan's hair! I told him he looks like a blond beatle, but he doesn't really... I actually didn't do that bad of a job! I also gave him the nickname drooly, but thats another story all together...

    Peace, love, and applesauce!

    Be good, watch TV...

    Happy Independence Day!

    Okay, I know it is technically after July 4th, but I was internet inaccessible at that time *wink wink nudge nudge*. But I was busy celebrating our freedom with my friends, and with on of them in the military and another one military-bound, I am pretty sure we all remembered the gravity that accompanies the celebration, when one considers the cost of our independence. And so, yes, Nathan is probably joining the Air Force. *sighs softly* Its so strange, I never felt like our family made any sacrifice when Daddy was in the Navy, although I guess we did, but now that I see it from the point of view of a (nearly) grown person, its scary! I am so proud of him, and I will support him no matter what he does, I just don't want to lose him. On the weekend...

    Pictures will be forthcoming...

    We left around 6:00 PM on Friday... We were supposed to leave at 11:00 AM, but I decided that I wanted to have my break pads replaced before we went... good thing! I had to have the back breaks replaced! It was, oh, about $200 more than I wanted to spend, but I am pretty certain that it was worth it. Especially since we hit some NASTY storms nine miles outside of Clinton Missouri, storms that continued all the way through till Platte City, and then died off. We got to Dawson, Nebraska (the white star is where Nathan's house is, the red star is town) around 11-ish. We greeted Nathan and David (after almost hitting a deer) and talked for a bit before bed. The next day, we all just chilled around the house till around 5:30, when we drove to Auburn (about 18 miles north of Dawson) and caught Spider Man 2 at a GORGEOUS little movie theater. We went back to Nathan's and chilled until late, then went to bed. The next day, we went to Falls City, Nebraska (18 miles south-ish of Dawson) to get stuff for cookies. On the way back, the boys INSISTED that we stop for fireworks, so Tara and I waited in the car whilst the guys bought lots of things that explode. Got back to the house, then left along with Nathan's dad for a cook-out at Nathan's dad's girlfriend's house. (say THAT three times fast) Hung out there, had hamburgers, chased chickens, and played with kitties till around 7. Then we went back to the house, where Nathan and Jason blew up some barrels, coke cans, and, well, I don't even WANT to know what else. We heard a lot of explosions from inside, where we were baking cookies. It finally got dark, so we all went out (David and Al, Nathan's dad, had just gotten back) and enjoyed the fireworks that the guys bought. I lit one, I think it was a fountain, but I don't actually remember. It took me FOREVER to light, and then when it finally lit, it took me a minute to remember to move! I didn't know my short lil legs could move that fast. After that, we stayed outside and played flashlight hide-and-go-seek till everyone had been "It" once (they gave us girls a handicap. *frowns* It doesn't seem right, but we NEVER would have caught any of them!) We stayed up REALLY late last night, and none of us (except Nathan) got up till after 3. We left around 8 PM, and got back into town around 2 AM. I, as always, missed a turn, and ended up driving THROUGH Kansas City instead of around. *sighs* Least I didn't drive to Joplin this time... Anyway, we got pictures developed, and dropped Jason off at his hotel, and I've spent the last half hour typing this (had to look up links *winks*) And now... bed! Much love and sun screen!

    Be good, watch T.V.

    I love Squishy!