Saturday, December 06, 2003

My life is like an endless cycle... I get depressed. I don't eat when I am depressed, so I either get sick or get headaches. Take today for example... Migraine headache, no food. Then I get more emotional, and more depressed because I can barely see straight. Instead of taking it easy, I continue to attempt my usual tasks, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Anyway, then I refuse to eat at all, until its so convenient for me to eat that I can't refuse. As in, I am in the joust anyway, or I know that I have something in my room. Today, I have a million and one reasons why I can't... and so I won't. I know that I won't, and I don't really want to. (Hey, this is an honest look at me, and these are my honest thoughts. I am not sane enough to make it sound like I'm normal.) I guess thats why I can be so pushy or bossy sometimes. I don't want people to be like me, so I won't let them have my excuses. I like to think that I try to help people as much as can, and don't just try to tell them what to do. So here I am, no solution in sight. See, there are limited mealtimes on campus here during the weekends, and you can't use your card in the joust... and I have no money. I have no choice but to not eat, but that suits me. I don't even know why I am writing this anymore... *sighs*

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