Monday, December 08, 2003

I suppose that some of you might have noticed my lack of online presence lately? No? Oh well. I figured you hadn't, otherwise you would have been worried and e-mailed me. And since THAT hasn't happened... *grins*

I had my historiography final today.... realized that I haven't been signing the role sheet as much as I've been there. Dr Hall thought I missed a whole bunch of classes, and in fact this is one of the classes I haven't missed much. That said, I think I did okay. It was an hour long, and it was at 8:30 in the morning, and I had only had three hours of sleep. So maybe my judgement on it isn't as good as it could be. OH! And I actually finished a paper! Yes folks, I really did, and turned it in, too! Be grateful for the small things... Unfortunately I had to write it in the middle of last night, so its probably crap. I have had a migraine since Thursday (am in fact still having it) and so I couldn't get myself to actually go about writing it. But I slept a lot yesterday, rested, and finally got to the point around 2AM where I could do it.. and I did. I feel like a real person for the first time this semester.

Can I just say that I like writing when I actually know what I am writing about? I have had a lot of fear and insecurity this semester, and I think that might be part of my problem. So, anyway, I went through my whole writing process last night and this morning. Laboring over the intro. Adding to it and deleting as I get ideas. Writing a paragraph, and then another, and then rearranging all the sentences. Like its some sort of puzzle that I can solve if I get just the right combination of words... like my idea exists out there somewhere and my job is to catch it and trap it on paper. Quite a thrill, actually, even when I do a crappy job. You know what? I am going to post my paper! Thats right, I am!

So here it is folks, in all its glory. Just over three pages long... my paper! (double-space, calm down!)

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