I feel lonely and alone. Like things just aren't worth trying anymore. Like I can never be of enough worth to anyone else. Like I am always at the bottom looking up. Wishing, always wishing. I hate wishes, they never come true. I wish I was beautiful... graceful... good... lovable. I wish I didn't hurt other people. I wish I could love and be loved always. I am tired of being annoyed. Tired of feeling hurt. Tired of crying. Tired of trying to keep it all inside. Tired of trying not to be selfish. Tired of not being worth appreciation but wanting it anyway. Tired of loving people but not being worthy of anyone. Of anything.
Caly and Maggie, if it wasn't for the two of you... you guys fixed this day a little. Between Caly on AIM and Maggie's e-mail... I love you guys.