Friday, August 22, 2003


To me, that name always conjurs up images of purity and innocence. I hate sounding cliche or immature, and so I don't talk about my own faith very often, and last night I realized how wrong that is. Why does it have to sound stupid to say "I have Jesus in my heart"? I do! My life would be worth nothing if I didn't. My faith is what makes me who I am. I said that I created this to keep peoplr updated on my life, and to let people I care about kniw more about me, and hopefully, understand me.

I know this all sounds a little disjointed, but I am still trying to get my thoughts together.

First of all, I am a Christian in the fullest sense of that word. "Christ-follower" I am learning that my life is better, that I am happier and more content, when I am following God. I have peace about my future, even though I don't really know what I am going to do. Why? Because God has proven himself faithful to me in so many ways, and I know that he has a plan for my future. Everytime I have listened to His prompting and done what I felt he desired of me, it was the right decision.

Second, Jesus said that we should have faith like a child... so why should I be ashamed that speaking about Him makes me sound childish? I don't care anymore! I know that I am right about this, beyond any shadow of doubt.

I know that I am still working uphill. I know that I am so far from where I want and need to be in my life. The times when I am most in despair is when I feel most the weight of my own sin. I let myself forget that Christ died so that I could live without that burden. And the times when I come back up? Its when I learn to let go and, as the cliche goes, "let God".

So, I know this wasn't very organized today, but these were things in my heart that I just wanted to share. Hopefully, my thoughts will become more clear as time goes on, and it will become such a part of my life that I won't have to explain anymore.

Whoo. That said, I would like to insert a little note here about whats been going on in my life lately.

I am struggling with some stuff inside me right now... afraid of falling in more ways than one. Yesterday was my last day at work. Today I am packing. Tomorrow... Evangel. I will miss my family, my two friends here (lol, that actually hang out with me, I mean), my friends that I miss anyway because I don't see them, my church... Lexington. But it won't be as bad this time. Anyway, I gots ta go, post some messages on my new message board!

Bye People That I Love!

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